Life in the Smasher's Mansion
by Nijuu
Summary: This is a story of total madness that goes on in and out of the mansion shared by all the Super Smash Brothers Melee characters except a few. It's humorous, crazy, stupid, random, but it's my first creation and I want good opinions! Behold!
1. The Conference

Heeeeeey y'all! This is Nakoya, and this is my first fic. SSBM obviously, my fav. So wish me luck, and don't shoot if it sucks. I'm totally a n00b. So have mercy! At least I know my grammar and puncuation. . Well, enjoy! With love, Nakoya. Oh, and comments and critisism are always welcomed. Well, constructive critisism. No flaming. Just...help me out here. This varies between text format and paragraph format depending on the situation. I've cut out Young Link, Jigglypuff, and Dr. Mario because they are pointless. Dr. Mario is the Mansion doctor though, so he's kinda there. I don't own anything. Well, go for it.

**Life in the Smasher's Mansion**

**Chapter One - The Conference**

It was another splendifurous afternoon in the Smasher's Mansion, the sun high in the sky, the bird's flying in the warm sunny air, and HALF THE SMASHERS STILL ASLEEP! Honestly, you'd think they'd have to be training or something, but noooo, they just slack off and sleep in 'til three. Past two of their ever-so-important meals. And about a dozen of their ever-so-crucial practices. The only ones awake were Peach, Zelda, Pichu, and Marth. Hm, must be a girl thing.

"Oh, those boys and Samus are always so lazy!" Peach exclaimed, hoping to maybe wake a couple of them up. She hurried upstairs to the bedroom hallway and kicked open every door as loud as she could in her pink high-heels. "Wake up you lazy so-called _smashers! _Can't you see it's 3:30 _in the afternoon? _I guess not, all you can see is the insides of your eyelids! Now WAKE-UP!" She continued huffing down the hallways, about to kick open Ganondorf's door, when she sighted Master Hand at the other end of the hall. Peach's eyes widened and she curtsied politely before her master.

But he just smiled (assuming that's possible). "It's ok, Peach. You're just doing your job, and that's what I like to see. Keep up the good work." He walked, er, _floated _past the young princess, but she'd lost her furious rampageness and instead just returned to the kitchen to make herself...whatever. She could hear other smashers start to get up and get dressed, so she was quite proud of herself.

Just then, Zelda entered the kitchen, followed by her best friend Samus, who'd been asleep on the sofa. And gotten hell from Master Hand for it. "Oh, honestly Samus. When will you learn that you aren't allowed to sleep outside of your bedroom?" Zelda lectured casually. Samus rolled her emerald green eyes and sat at the dining table next to Marth, who just seemed to appear there out of nowhere.

"Look, Zel. I was watching tv and just fell asleep. So shoot me." Marth looked at Samus strangely.

"Um...Samus? We don't _have _a tv in the living room...we never have." Samus stared at Marth...and shrugged.

"So now I'm crazy huh?" Samus hung her head. "Everyone's against me, I swear."

Zelda laughed kindly. "No, you just need better excuses." She resumed cleaning the countertops of the mess that seemed to appear there...out of nowhere. Speaking of countertop messes, Master Hand wa-..._floated _in at that moment. "We're having a meeting in about an hour, so be ready. More like a conference really, so try to get all dressed up and we'll all go to dinner later. All of the smashers. I'm going to tell them right now, so meet me in the Conference Room. See you then, ladies." Marth was about to say something, but decided it was useless.

"Wow, a meeting? I wonder what for. We haven't had one in about 3 months," Samus commented. Peach giggled and Zelda picked up Pichu, leaving for her room to get ready. Marth...left for somewhere. Probably her room. I mean _his _room. Gosh, I'll never get that down...

In the Conference Room

-enter C. Falcon, Fox, Falco, Mr. Game, DK, Ganondorf, Roy, Kirby, Ness, Popo, Yoshi, Mario, Luigi, Pikachu, and Pichu

C. Falcon: Where's Zelda?

Fox: Where's Link?

Mr. Game: beep beep beep

DK: Where's Peach?

Ganondorf: Where's Bowser?

Roy: Where's Marth?

Ness: Where's Mewtwo?

Popo: Where's Nana? Oh, wait. I know...

Yoshi: Where's Master Hand?

Mario: Where's Peach?

DK: I said that already!

Pikachu: Where's...uh...Samus! Yeah, where's Samus...?

Pichu: pichu pi pichu!

-enter Master Hand

Master Hand: they are getting ready. They're girls, so they take longer.

DK: Bowser's a girl!

Ganondorf: Link's a girl! I knew it!

Pikachu: Mewtwo's a girl!

Yoshi: Master Hand's a girl!

Roy: ...You're retarded.

Master Hand: Oh look. Here comes one now.

-enter Samus, who's wearing a lavender silk dress with black high-heels and black gloves up to her elbows, her blonde hair neatly in sticks, wearing more makeup than anyone's every seen, also wearing quite a bit of jewelry.

C. Falcon: ...

Ganondorf: ...

Fox: ...

Falco: ...

Mario: ...

Luigi: ...hey, Mario! What would Peach think of this!

DK: ...

Roy: ...

Kirby: ...hehehehe

Ness: ...

Mr: Game: ...beep

Pikachu: ...Wow, Samus! You look pretty!

Yoshi: Shut up, Pikachu.

Pikachu: (sobbs)

MH: Well, Samus. You've really outdone yourself. When I said dress up, I didn't mean like this! Well, maybe I did, but...

Samus: Thanks everyone. I've had this dress forever and never seemed to have worn it, so I figured why not?

Ness: But what about all that jewelry and makeup?

Samus: Oh, it's all Peach's. Using without permission, don't tell her.

Ness: it would be a miracle if it were actually yours...

Samus: Well? Where's everyone else?

C. Falcon: We're over here!

Samus: No, all the other _girls._

C. Falcon: ...We're over here!

Ganondorf: Speak for yourself!

C. Falcon: (getting beat up by everyone who took offense. So, everyone except Kirby, Pikachu, and Yoshi.)

MH: Here comes someone else...

-enter Link, and Marth, who actually look like they put some thought into their outfits.

Samus: Hey guys!  
Marth: Hey. what's she so happy about?

Link: i don't know...who is she?

Marth: ...nevermind.

MH: All of you guys should take your attire into consideration like these two. It's helps show you have...common sense.

Roy: psh, no way.

Ganondorf: Yeah, that's gay. I'm wearing the same thing I wore last month.

Ness: But you washed it, right?

Ganondorf: Of course not! Who in their right mind would actually _wash _their clothes!

Samus: I do.

C. Falcon: I do.

Falco: I do.

Fox: I do.

Mario: I do. Well, Peach does, but they do get washed.

DK: I wash my tie.

Roy: I do. I just don't care about what I wear.

Luigi: I wash my clothes. _By myself._

Mario: Shut up.

Ness: I do.

Kirby: I do.

Roy: You don't even _wear _clothes!

Kirby: ...How do you know?

Yoshi: I do!

Ganondorf: You don't either!

Yoshi: Stop picking on me!

Ganondorf: Ok, so you wash your clothes. You're all gay.

Link: Whatever, someone else is coming.

Ganondorf: Stop trying to change the subject!  
Link: I'm just saying! Someone else-

Ganondorf: Don't you talk back-

Link: I can do whatever I want you ugly-

Ganondorf: Don't start calling me-

Link: Don't tell me what to-

Ganondorf: Don't try-

Zelda: GUYS! Shut up!

Link: ...When did you get here?

Zelda: Somewhere around the 3rd insult.

Link: Oh...told you someone else was coming.

Ganondorf: Shut up.

Zelda: Well? How do I look? wearing a pink and white long dress with short flaring sleeves, jewelry, white high-heels, her normal white gloves (bleached, oh yeah...), silver belt, triforce earrings, and some really expensive looking ring

Ganondorf: ...

C. Falcon: ...

Fox: not again...

Samus: You look great Zel...

Kirby: Yeah, stop gloating.

Mario: You always look great though.

Luigi: What would Peach say!

Pikachu: You also look very pretty, Zelda!

Zelda: Thank you.

Samus: ...

Pikachu: ...I already told _you_ that.

Samus: (sigh) So what's the big meeting about?

MH: Wait until everyone else gets here.

Marth: Who's left?

MH: Peach, Bowser, Mewtwo, and Nana.

Marth: Oh, Mewtwo told me he wasn't coming.

DK: Mewtwo actually _told _someone something! (faints)

Fox: I think I overheard Bowser saying he felt bad. So he probably won't come either.

Falco: He wouldn't have come anyway.

Zelda: Hey! There's Peach!

-enter Peach, wearing a spring green short dress, white tall leather boots with laces, bracelets, a small necklace, Mario's ring, her hair in some fashion of a bun, silver earrings, and a white fur coat.

Samus: ...

C. Falcon: ...

Ganondorf: ...where you get _that _dress?

Mario: Hi Peach! You look great!

Luigi: I'm still gonna tell her...

Zelda: Wow Peach, I love that coat!

Peach: Thanks everyone!

Link: ...

Roy: ...I thought this was a _meeting..._

Marth: So did I.

Roy: No you didn't, you dressed up too.

Marth: I always dress up.

MH: Ok, now we're all waiting on Nana.

30 minutes later

Popo: Oh yeah! Nana went back to Alaska to see her family.

MH: ...

everyone else: ...

MH: ...kill him.

10 minutes later, Popo is tied to a chair.

MH: Now, about the meeting. I'm here to announce that we will complete our rank testings with an interview.

everyone: (groans)

MH: You'll all be interviewed by an...interviewer about your career as a smasher and also your personal life.

Roy: ...

Marth: ...

Link: ...

Zelda: ...

MH: You must tell them the truth and answer every question sincerely. You'll go in one at a time, and you _have _to dress up.

Roy: shit, what's with all this dressing up crap?

Ganondorf: hell if i know.

Peach: When will this be?

MH: Starting tomorrow, in random order.

Yoshi: Cool!

Kirby: What's cool?

Yoshi: Random order!

Ness: ...Can we tie him up too?

MH: Be my guest.

Yoshi gets tied to his chair

MH: Now, let's go out to dinner! How does this interview sound to everyone?

Marth: sounds like a load of-

MH: (glares at Marth)

Marth: Fun! Sounds like a load of fun!

MH: Good! Now let's go.

all leave for some fancy resteraunt

Peach: Where are we eating?

Roy: More like what are we eating?

Mario: Italian, duh.

Zelda: I'm in the mood for chinese.

Ganondorf: I'm thinking more like Mexican personally.

Link: Really? I was thinking seafood.

Samus: That's funny, because I'm really craving some hamburgers.

Popo: Oh, too bad, because I want ice cream.

all: considering ice cream

Ganondorf: Nah, I still want Mexican.

Ness: I want Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Zelda: Too bad! I want Chinese!

Link: Well, we're having seafood!

Luigi: Italian you morons!  
Fox: How about Thai?

Samus: Hamburgers!  
Popo: Ice cream!

Ness: KFC!

Mr. Game: beep beep beep beep!

Zelda: hmm, good thing no one can understand him. Chinese!

Peach: I want a fruit salad!

Roy: I want Cajun!

Luigi: Italian!

Samus: HAMBURGERS!

Popo: Ice cream!

Link: Seafood!

Ganondorf: Mexican!

Pikachu: Steak!

Pichu: pichu pichu!

Ness: KFC dammit!

Roy: Cajun dammit!  
Popo: Ice cream dammit!

Zelda: Chinese dammit!  
Ganondorf: Dammit!

Link: What?

Ganondorf: MEXICAN!

Fox: Ok, so not Thai...

Mario: Italian DAMMIT!

Peach: What happened to my fruit salad?

Link: Seafood and that's final!

Popo: Ice cream and _that's _final!

Link: That can't be final! Seafood is!

Zelda: No, Chinese is!

Roy: No, Cajun is! And that's final!

Samus: I still say hamburgers!

Ganondorf: Whatever! We're having Mexican either way!  
Pikachu: Steak!  
Peach: Fruit salad!

Ness: KFC!

Link: Seafood!  
Zelda: Chinese!

Samus: Hamburgers!

Roy: Cajun!

Ganondorf: Mexican!

Mario: Italian!  
Popo: Ice cream!

MH: (pulling into McDonalds)

Samus: YESSSSS IN YOUR FACE I KNEW WE WERE HAVING HAMBURGERS!

MH: (dropping off movies in drop-off box)

Samus: ...

Link: ...Seafood it is.

Popo: I don't think so. Try _ice cream._

Ganondorf: I told you, _mexican._

Falco: ...Boy, these people are a bunch of dumbasses.

Marth: No kidding.

Fox: I thought Thai would've worked.

Mr. Game: beep beep beep

Marth: He says "no one likes thai you jackass"

Mr. Game: beep beep! beep beep!

Fox: (proceeding to beat Mr. Game to a 2 dimensional pulp)

Peach: Fruit salad!

Zelda: Chinese!  
Samus: (rocking back and forth in the feedle position)

Ganondorf: Mexican you bitches!  
Link: Seafood _you _bitch!

Ganondorf: Excuse me?

Link: You heard me!

Roy: Cajun! I vote Cajun!

Popo: Ice cream!

Roy: Hey...wait a minute.

all: (silence)

Roy: Didn't we tie Popo to a chair?

Ganondorf: Yeah?

Roy: Then why is he here now?

all: (pondering)

Popo: ...(jumps out car window)

Zelda: ...Chinese!

all: (argument continues)

Pikachu: Let's let Master decide!

MH: ...I'm gonna go with barbeque.

all: ...

What will happen at the barbeque joint? Will Master Hand survive the angry mob? Will there even be an angry mob! What became of Popo? What is Nana doing? What're Mewtwo and Bowser, and even _Yoshi _doing? Find out next time! In

chapter two!


	2. Wild at Café Aquae

Hey guys! How'd you like Chapter one? It may've sucked , but I'm working on it. Anyway, here we go on chapter two! I don't own anything except myself, and the waiters. Remember, Dr. Mario, Young Link, Jigglypuff, the Ice Climbers, Yoshi, Bowser, and Mewtwo are not on the bus. The underlined are not even in the story. Well, have fun with it! Comments are always appreciated.

**Chapter Two - Wild at Café Aquae**

The car/bus ride continued in absolute silence, until broken by Pikachu.

Pikachu: See? I told you he'd solve everything for us!

MH: Sound good to everyone?

all: No.

Pikachu: Yeah!

Zelda: We got dressed up! We should have something a little more...fancy?

MH: Hm, you're right.

Zelda: Like Chinese!

MH: No...

Ganondorf: Mexican?

Mario: There's nothing fancy about Mexican. How about Italian?

Peach: Salads are fancy.

Link: Well so is seafood.

MH: I'M THINKING OF A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 50!

Ganondorf: ...So?

MH: So guess!

Mario: 43

Luigi: 1

Peach: 23

DK: 35

Ganondorf: 10

Falco: 9

Ness: 39

Kirby: 20

Samus: (feedle position)

Zelda: 15

Link: 49

Pichu: pichu pi pi

Pikachu: 7

Roy: 25

MH: The number was 39...NESS WINS!

Ness: Yes!

Zelda: I'm not eating KFC in these gloves, I just bleached them.

Samus: Same here, I dressed up for once and that's what I have to eat?

Peach: But you wanted hamburgers just a while ago.

Samus: Don't remind me.

Roy: Ness is psychic, he probably cheated.

Ness: uh, heheheheh.

Ganondorf: See? He admits it!

Ness: No I don't.

MH: Right, another number! Sorry Ness. This time between...

Zelda: Ok, how about we just take the fancy foods and everyone else is out?

Kirby: Yeah!

Ganondorf: Fine...

Zelda: Ok, so me, Link, Peach, Pikachu, Mario/Luigi, Fox, and...that's it, are all still in.

MH: Ok, number 1 through 20. Go for it!

Pikachu: Steak's fancy? I mean, 5.

Mario: 4

Link: 17

Zelda: 18

Fox: Uh...10, no 9!

Peach: 13

MH: Ok, it was 16, so we're having seafood!

Link: Yes! Awesome!

MH: Only problem is that you guys were arguing that whole time and I was driving that whole time, so we're in the middle of a desert now. Take a nap and you'll wake up in town.

Link: ...ok!

all: (sleep)

Back at the mansion

C. Falcon: Ah, I feel better now. Where is everyone?

Yoshi: mph mmmpsh!

C. Falcon: Aww man they left me!

Yoshi: MMPH!

C. Falcon: I know...

Yoshi: (tear)

C. Falcon: (going up to Samus's room) bwahahaha...

In town

MH: We're in town!

all: (sleeping)

In seafood resteraunt

MH: We're here!

all: (sleeping)

MH: I SAID NAP! NOT HIBERNATION!

Ganondorf: Uh, wha-? Hold shit this place is fancy!

Pikachu: Did you drag all of us in here?

Samus: I hope not!

MH: I warped you, don't worry.

Waiter #1: How many?

MH: Um, hold on. 1, 2, 3, 4...

Ness: ...17.

MH: Uh, right! 17!

Waiter #1: Smoking or non?

Ganondorf, Roy, Fox, Falco, Mario, DK, Ness, Samus, and Mr. Game: Smoking. (beep beep)

Luigi, Marth, Zelda, Peach, Link, Pikachu, Pichu, Kirby, and MH: Non. (pi)

Waiter #1: ...Non it is!

Ganondorf, Roy, Fox, Falco, Mario, DK, Ness, Samus, and Mr. Game: (groan)

Luigi, Marth, Zelda, Peach, Link, Pikachu, Pichu, Kirby, and MH: nya nyah!

Waiter #1: Here is your seat. s.

Waitress #1: And here are your menus. Enjoy.

Ganondorf: The Café Aquae? Hahahahaha!

Zelda: What's so funny?

MH: Behave yourselves!

Ness and Kirby: (having a spoon fight)

Pikachu and Pichu: (having a fork fight)

Fox and Falco: (having a butter knife fight)

MH: BEHAVE!

Ness: You're not Austin Powers, give it up.

MH: (slaps Ness across the room)

Waitress #1: What can I get you all to drink?

Ganondorf: Yeah, I'll have a-

MH: We're all having Coke.

Waitress #1: Ok...17 cokes...I'll be right back with those.

Ganondorf: What the hell man? I wanted a beer!

Zelda: I wanted water.

Peach: I wanted Diet!

Kirby: I wanted a Shirley Temple!

MH: And that would've taken forever, let's keep it simple.

Ness: (crawling back into seat) I'm allergic to Coke.

Link: Then how come your all hyper and getting high off it all the time?

Ness: That's not getting high, it's called breaking out.

Link: Well, don't drink any then!

Ness: Maybe I won't, gosh!

MH: You're not Napoleon Dynamite, give it up.

Ness: ...I'm onto you...

Waitress #1 & #2: Here you are. (passing out the cokes)

Waitress #2: Now, can I take your order?

Pikachu: Dude! I didn't even get to look at my menu!

Waitress #2: ...Ok, I'll come back later.

MH: Decide fast, and order fast. I'm going to the bathroom, so someone order for me. I want the #57.

Peach: You can go to the bathroom?

MH: Shut up and order.

Luigi: ...I want-

Samus: Order to the waitress, not us! I'm going to the bar.

Ganondorf: Me too.

Roy: Me too.

Mario: Me too.

Fox: Me too.

Falco: Me t-

Zelda: Why don't you all just _go_?

Ganondorf, Roy, Mario, Fox, Falco, Ness, and Samus: (leaving for bar)

Link: ...Well, this is not very fun...

Marth: ...Let's play telephone.

Pikachu: Great idea!

Marth: Nevermind.

Pikachu: Awwwwww.

MH: Where'd everyone go?

all: Bar.

Waitress #2: I'll take your orders now.

MH: We're all having the #57.

Link: What!

Waitress #2: Ok.

Marth: What the hell? I wanted something else!

Zelda: Me too!

Peach: Everyone, just eat what you get.

all: (murmuring irritably)

Link: (looking over at bar, to see a wasted Ganondorf and an almost drunk Samus about to...do something dangerous.)

Luigi: I'm gonna go over to the bar...

Link: Yeah...me too...

Zelda: Ok, be careful.

Luigi & Link: (running over to bar)

Marth: Hey look, our food.

Waitresses #1, 2, 3, 4, and 5: serving food, which turned out to be fried oysters and octopus tentacles, and fish eyes

Zelda: Uh, wow...that looks great.

Peach: (about to hurl)

Marth: (poking tentacles with fork)

MH: (eating happily)

Pikachu: (tasting)

Pichu: (sniffing...crying)

Pikachu: (about to hurl)

Peach: (running to bathroom)

Kirby: Um, I'm gonna run to the bar for a few seconds. (dashing to bar)

MH: to Zelda, Marth, Pikachu, and Pichu Well, eat up! It's great!

all: (dashing to bathroom)

MH: (shurggs)

meanwhile, at the bar...

At totally wasted Samus: Wow, this place is great...this is the only place i KNOw that has FREE REFILLS on alcohioc drinksl.

Ganondorf, also wasted: Yeah, i know, that's pretty rare aroujnd here...

Link: ...Whoa, this is a dangerous place to be.

Fox: Yeah, you might wanna back up...

Mario: I'm going back to the table.

Kirby: (panting) Do NOT go to the table!

Mario: (looking over to see an empty table except for MH) Ok, I trust you.

Marth, Zelda, Peach, and Pikachu: (running over to bar, rather pale in the faces)

Pikachu: We lost him! Man down!

Zelda: She's a girl!

Falco: Who? Who did we lose!

Pikachu: (sniff sniff) PICHU!

What happened to Pichu? What will become of Samus and Ganondorf? What's C. Falcon doing in Samus's room? Where's Popo! Are Zelda, Marth, Peach, and Pikachu gonna live after looking at the spawn of evil itself? Find out next time, in

**chapter 3**


	3. The Turnaround

So how'd you like that chapter? It was about half as long as the first one, but it had some content going. Well, here's chapter three. I'm sorry if you like octopus tentacles or fish eyes, but I don't think they sound very appetizing. I don't own anyone, as usual. Sure wish I did though. Well, here it is. Behold, chapter three.

**Chapter Three - The Turnaround**

Falco: Pichu?

Pikachu: Yeah, she fainted in the bathroom!

Roy: How would _you _know?

Zelda: That's not the point! Pichu knows when something is wrong!

Marth: That food, it's-

Peach: (sobbing) Poisoned!

Mario: Are you sure? Master Hand's eating it like crazy...

Fox: He's gonna die!

Falco: Yessssssssss!

Samus: ...we...we gorta get outta herrrrrrrrre...or something

Ganondorf: yeah...yeah, what she said...

Peach: Ok, we ditch Master Hand, get Pichu, and make a break for it.

Zelda: Sounds like a plan, let's go!

Pikachu: I'll get Pichu!

Roy: You can't go in the girl's bathroom!

Pikachu: Ok, Samus!

Samus: garrr...what?

Pikachu: Zelda?

Zelda: (already out the door, starting the van)

Pikachu: Marth?

Marth: ...It's getting old now, Pikachu.

Pikachu: Peach!

Peach: Fine, alright alright...

Pikachu, Roy, Marth, Link, Mario, and Fox: (heading for the door, avoiding MH, who's still pigging out)

Luigi: (dragging Ganondorf)

Falco: (dragging Samus)

DK, Ness, Kirby, and Mr. Game: (helping drag, going for the door)

Zelda: Ok, let's go! (putting the pedal to the metal)

They drove off quite a distance from the resteraunt before they ran outta gas and had to pull into a dark, mysterious ally. Zelda sighed. "Do you guys think we're far enough?" She could hear sleepy murmuring from the back, but thought she heard a "yeah" somewhere in there. She sighed again and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I guess everyone's asleep," she said to herself, and got outta the van. But as she did, she heard rustling in the garbage cans to her left...and then her right! Something fishy (blech) was going on...

And the C. Falcon jumped out of the trash cans! Zelda screamed bloody murder, not knowing it was a fellow comrade, and proceeded to slap him on the face and run away squealing. She ran alllll the way back to the van (that she was less than a foot away from) and shut the door, locking it. C. Falcon...had been..._rejected._ What's new. "Link! Link, wake up!" Zelda cried to the hylian...the lazy hylian. He stirred for an instant before turning away from the woman in need and snoring back to sleep. Zelda sighed audibly in frustration and looked back outside at the psycho maniac hiding in the alley.

"LINK GET UP!" she tried one more time. This time he sat up abruptly and turned to face Zelda. "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, WOMAN!" he exclaimed at the princess, who proceeded to slap him also. But it was too late and the whole van was awake, not that it mattered. They moved around and realized they couldn't go back to sleep if they tried.

"Do you think we should go back and get Master Hand?" one with a strong italian accent commented, only to be replied with "What Master Hand, he's dead, remember? The food was poisoned!" from someone who sounded like a blue bird pilot. "Why don't you all just shut up?" said someone who sounded like a betrayed prince from Altea. There was murmuring and Zelda looked at Link once more before unlocking the van door and checking outside. "There was someone out here a while ago..." she said to no one in particular and got outta the van. But as she did, she heard rustling in the garbage cans to her left...and then her right! Something fishy (blech again!) was going on...

And the C. Falcon jumped out of the trash cans! Zelda screamed bloody murder, not knowing it was a fellow comrade, and proceeded to slap him on the face and run away squealing. She ran alllll the way back to the van (that she was less than a foot away from) and shut the door, locking it. Then she remembered that the same thing had happened 5 minutes ago and got out of the van _once _more. "Who's there?" she called out, with Link right behind her. She looked around, her sapphire blue eyes darting furiously around the strange alleyway. Link drew his sword and Zelda her bow (hm, why did they bring those to the resteraunt...?) and continued to search for the enemy.

"Hey, do you guys have any mints?" Ganondorf asked, which caused the other 2 hylians to jump and spaz out before regaining their composure and saying "no". "Arrggh, why doesn't anyone here carry around any mints for Din's sake..." he retreated back into the crowded van, and Link and Zelda eventually gave up and climbed in also. "Where should we go!" Zelda was forced to shout over the commotion that seemed to appear (yet again out of nowhere) in the van. Samus, who'd gotten over her drunken stage, whistled loudly for attention and brought the noise level down. "Quiet you guys!" Zelda cleared her throat and repeated, "Where should we go...?"

Samus slapped her forehead. "Are you aware of what you have just done Zel...?"

Fox: Hmm, we should go to an electronic store.

Link: Who would be open in the middle of the night?

Falco: I don't know, but I'm kinda hungry and I didn't get any of those tentacles.

Peach: Are you kidding? We need to go home?

Pikachu: Are you sure? The mall's open late on weekends...

Peach: Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a side trip to the mall...

Marth: That's ridiculous.

Roy: Yeah, we should all go to the movies.

Marth: that's not what i meant...

Mario: The movies? No, we should go back and get Master Hand.

Ganondorf: Um..we should go to the mall, I'm with Peach.

Zelda: Uhhh...

Samus: Let's not start this again. Last time, I got jipped.

Luigi: I say-

Mr. Game: beep beep

Luigi: ...I thought Fox beat you to a 2-dimensional pulp?

Mr. Game: ...beep

Kirby: We should go to a video game store.

Ness: Yeah, or a sports store.

DK: We should go find a banana grove.

Zelda: ...no.

Roy: Hmmmmmmmmm...

Peach: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Ganondorf: Hmmmmmmmmm...

Mr. Game: beeeeeeeeeeeeeep...

Mario: Hmmmmmmmmm- we're not all gonna do this are we?

Marth: Roy started it.

Roy: (sweatdrop)

Zelda: Let's just go home.

Samus: I'm right behind ya.

They all made a long and treacherous (just kidding, it was peaceful and quiet) trip back home...and then they stayed there...without Master Hand. Here's what they all did as soon as they got home:

Mario: (got the first shower)

Luigi: (went to his room he shared with Mario and went to bed)

Peach: (went straight to the kitchen and started making their real meal)

DK: (laughed at Yoshi still tied to the chair)

Ganon: (thought about it, joined in the laughter)

Falco: (fell asleep on the couch)

Fox: (went to the tv and watched football or some other stupid show)

Ness: (sat at the dining table and waited for food)

Kirby: (joined Ness)

Samus: (went up to her room...)

Zelda: (went up to her room)

Link: (got the second shower)

Pichu: (sat down with Fox and watched tv)

Pikachu: (joined Ness and Kirby)

Mr. Game: (half-dead in the van)

Marth: (helping Peach with the food)

Roy: (joining DK and Ganondorf in the laughter at Yoshi)

Yoshi: (crying helplessly)

In the kitchen

Peach: Well, what should we eat?

Samus: (screams loudly, though not entirely in a girly, high-pitched way)

Ness: OMG!

Roy: (looking at Ness strangely)

Marth & Peach: (ditching the kitchenware to go find Samus, with Roy, Ness, and Kirby hot on their heels)

(upstairs)

Samus: CAPTAIN FALCON GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

C. Falcon: I'm innocent! Yoshi told me to do it! I swear!

Samus: Yoshi can't say anything! Now get lost!

(C. Falcon runs out of Samus's in panic with a very angry Samus about to kill him)

Peach: ...So, what should we eat?

Marth: I don't know.

Kirby: How about lasagna?

Ness: Sounds good.

Roy: I'm game.

Next scene

Everyone is at the dinner table except Master Hand and Yoshi who is in the living room, unconcious. They are all eating lasagna for dinner that Peach and Marth made.

Peach: How does it taste everyone?

everyone: Fine. (pi, beep)

Peach: ...alright...

(silence)

C. Falcon: Well, Mr. Game, it's good to see you've recovered well enough to join us this evening!

Mr. Game: beep beep...

(silence)

Samus: Pass the bread please.

(silence)

Roy: I'm finished. gets up and leaves

(silence)

Marth: He didn't even take his dishes...

Next scene

Marth and Peach are talking in the kitchen about whether they should go back and get Master Hand.

Peach: So should we go back and get him?

Marth: Who?

Peach: ...

Marth: Oh, him. Uh, if you want I guess. I mean, I don't care.

Peach: Well, he is our master after all, we can't just abandon him...

Marth: Yeah, but if we leave him, we won't have to do those stupid interviews!

Peach: But...a second ago you didn't care.

Marth: So?

Peach: ...You're right! Let's just leave him there!

Marth: Ok! From now on, you and me can be in charge! We are both royalty after all.

Peach: That's true. Ok, I think I can handle it!

Marth: Alright. Good night Peach. (leaves)

Peach: 'Night. thinking _Me in charge...awesome._

The next morning

People are...not waking up early again, and everyone is sleeping peacefully except for one princess...

Peach: (blowing whistle at the top of her lungs)

all: (waking up except Bowser, Ganondorf, DK, Roy, Mario, C. Falcon, and Samus)

Zelda: What the-?

Luigi: Peach?

Pikachu: Are you ok?

Peach: It's 7:00! Wake up now everybody!

Kirby: Aw, man! It's that stupid trip isn't it?

Peach: What trip?

Ness: Uh, me, Kirby, Pichu, Pikachu, and Mr. Game are supposed to go on this trip, but it's not until 7:30.

Peach: Ok, well get ready and leave whenever, the bus will take you.

Kirby: thinking _Score! Free trip outta this place!_

Peach: The rest of you all wake up!

Ganondorf: Give us 30 more minutes!

Peach: Ok...but that's all you're getting.

30 minutes later

Peach: Bye guys!

Ness, Kirby, Pichu, Pikachu, and Mr. Game leave on a bus for who knows where

Peach: Now then...(throws the unconcious Yoshi outside into the SMASH DUMPSTER and resumes whistle blowing)

Ganondorf: 30 more minutes!

Peach: No! Get up now!

Samus: (groan)

Zelda: Peach, this is so unlike you! What's happened?

What the heck is the matter with Peach? What's gotten into her? Has she gone mad? Where Popo? And Mewtwo? And what's gonna happen to poor Yoshi? And Master Hand? And most of all, Peach! Find out next time in, you guessed it

**chapter 4**


	4. People with Issues

Hey people! I finally got this story on after weeks of just typing it at home and never submitting it. I guess that would only make sense to Kaeryu. I thank you all for reviewing my first story (even though it's only 3 people so far) and I hope I can update soon enough for you all to not lose hope. Anyway, here's chapter 4! I don't own anything except...nope, nothing.

**Chapter Four - People With Issues**

Peach was in the process of waking everybody up at **7:30 **and nobody in the mansion seemed to like it. But really, who would?

Peach: Why won't you lazy people wake up?

Bowser: Because!

Zelda: Peach, I strongly feel that something is wrong with you, do you need to go to the doctor?

Peach: ...Do I look like I do!

Mario: Is that a trick question?

Peach: Mario! Go away!

Mario: But-

Peach: MARIO!

Mario: (runs away)

Luigi: ...And you married her _why?_

Mario: ...

Marth: Peach, this is probably my fault.

Peach: Well DUH it is!

Marth: ...Do you even know what's wrong with you?

Fox: I know who can tell her.

all: DR. MARIO!

-In the doctor's office- Peach was escorted by Marth and Zelda

Peach: I'm not crazy!

Marth: Calm down, Peach...

Dr. Mario: What seems to be the problem here?

Zelda: You're the doctor!

Dr. Mario: Well I'm not PSYCHIC!

Marth: Peach here is showing sudden signs of anger, rebellion, and cruelty.

Dr. Mario: Such as...?

Marth: ...Didn't you hear her up there!

Dr. Mario: I think so.

Zelda: ...You _think? _Shit, Marth. We need a better doctor!

Peach: I'm still not crazy! You all just sleep in too late!

Marth: What_ever_!

Dr. Mario: I think I know the problem!

Roy: What?

Marth: ...When did you get here?

Dr. Mario: She's got...the _Lord of the Rings_ disease!

Zelda: ...What the (beep) is that?

Marth: Did you make that up?

Dr. Mario: It's where someone is so hungry for power that they get out of control and use their authority against others in cruel ways!

Marth: ...Did you make that up?

Dr. Mario: No!

Roy: So how do we _cure_ it? Do you have, like, an antibody for it or something?

Marth: Uh, you're thinking antibiotic.

Roy: Well whatever!

Dr. Mario: The only way to cure it...is to kill her.

Zelda: ...

Marth: ...

Roy: ...

Dr. Mario: ...Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! You guys totally fell for it! Hahahahaha!

Marth: ...What was that about a better doctor, Zelda?

Zelda: Let's go.

Peach: I don't need a doctor! You're the crazy ones! I am your lord! Bow down!

-In Mewtwo's office...er...room- Peach was escorted by Marth, Zelda, and Roy this time. Dr. Mario was knocked out.

Mewtwo: _Go away foolish humans._

Zelda: But Mewtwo. We just need-

Mewtwo: _GO AWAAAAAAAAAYY!_

Zelda, Roy, Peach, and Marth: (turning around and leaving)

-In the main room like thing...the foyer-

Peach: Wow, he's mean.

Roy: Of course he's mean! He's...Mewtwo.

Link: Hey guys, what's the matter with Peach?

Peach: It's _Peach_!

Link: ...Well that's what I sa-

Peach: No, you said _Peach_!

Link: ...Seriously you guys, what's wrong with her?

Zelda: "Lord of the Rings disease".

Link: Ha! Did the doctor make that one up?

Marth: See?

Roy: He didn't give us a cure though, except to kill her, which is stupid.

Zelda: And Mewtwo didn't help.

Link: Hmmm, maybe the _wizard_ Ganondorf has some kind of potion we can give her.

-In Ganondorf's room-

Link: Ah! My eyes! (running around in circles)

Zelda: Man, this room...has such an evil arua...

Roy: Yeah really. Look what it did to Link.

Zelda: No, that's just because he's an idiot.

Roy: ...oh.

Marth: Ganondorf! Wake up!

Ganondorf: What do you losers want? And what's wrong with Link?

Zelda: What's right with Link?

Link: (stops running) I heard that. (continues running)

Peach: Let go of me, vermin! (bites Roy's hand)

Roy: ...OW!

Zelda: (grabs Peach's arm once Roy let go) Ganon, we need a potion to clear Peach of "Lord of the Rings disease".

Ganondorf: ...That's nice...

Zelda: ...Can you give us one?

Ganondorf: Sure, let me look. And are you sure that disease is real?

Roy: (bandaging what's left of his hand) Sounds convincing enough.

Ganondorf: Uhhhh (looking through shelves of potions)

Peach: Don't make me bite you too Zelda!

Zelda: I'm not letting go, this is for your own good.

Ganondorf: Try this.

Marth: What is it?

Ganondorf: I don't know, that's why I'm saying try it.

Marth: ...It's just Peach, it's ok if we lose her.

Roy: Then why are we trying to save her?

Marth: ...Good question.

Zelda: Because she's our friend! You guys...

Ganondorf: It's a potion that I made, and it's basically like a sedagive.

Marth: ...

Ganondorf: ...I mean sedative.

Zelda: As long as she's calm, it'll probably be good enough.

Roy: Thanks dude.

Ganondorf: No problem. (going back to sleep)

-Back at the foyer: Link, Peach, Marth, Zelda, and Roy...possibly someone else...?

Peach: Gaarrrr!

Zelda: Peach, drink this sedagive and-

Marth: SEDATIVE!

Zelda: Sedative! And you'll be feeling a lot better.

Peach: Why don't you make me, you lazy sleeping-in slackers!

Roy: Ok we can do that! (forces Peach to drink the sedative ((i got it right)))

Peach: (out like a light)

Zelda: Problem solved. And it's only 8:13.

Marth: ...Do you guys feel that?

Link: What?

Marth: Obviously not.

Zelda: ...Hey guys, do you ever get that feeling like someone's watching you?

Marth: ...

Roy: Yeah, like right now!

all: (looking frantically around the empty quiet foyer)

Link: Over there! (pointing at dark corner near the front door)

Zelda: Who's there!

3 figures emerged from the shadow...one shaped like a big glove (hmmm) one shaped like an animal with a really big round nose and and long tongue (hmmmm) and one shaped like an eskimo (hmmmmm!)

Marth: What do you want with us?

Big Nose: Nothing, it's just us!

Glove: Yeah, and what was that whole deal about the resteraunt?

Eskimo: What's wrong with Peach?

Roy: Oh it's them. Hi Popo, Master Hand, and Yoshi! (that was for you **paperbag**. yoshi's back)

Zelda, Link, and Marth: (sigh of relief)

Yoshi: Hey guys, I smell like shit so I'm gonna hit the showers. (hitting the showers)

Zelda: Thank the goddesses.

Popo: I'm gonna go to the doctor and get my wounds treated.

Marth: Good luck with that...

MH: ...What's wrong with Peach!

Link: Long story.

MH: I'm listening...

Link: ...I mean _long story._

MH: Ok, ok. What's for breakfast?

Zelda: Well, since Peach can't cook while she's unconcious, and Mr. Game and Watch is on a trip, I guess it's up to Marth.

Marth: Why me!

Zelda: I thought you liked cooking!

Marth: Hell no!

Link: Ok, is anyone even hungry?

Mario: (heard from upstairs) Hey! We're starving up here! Get us some food!

Link: Ok, nevermind.

Fox: (entering the foyer) I was just in the kitchen and we're all out of food.

MH: That's impossible, I just went. We can't be totally out!

Falco: (following Fox) Well, ironically enough, we are. Totally out.

MH: ...What the (beep) is wrong with you people? Eat in _moderation!_

Zelda: I haven't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch.

Link: Same here.

Roy: Yeah...why are you even here, Master Hand?

Marth: I thought you were poisoned and died!

MH: ...Have I been gone _that_ long?

Link: Nevermind, but I think we need to go _grocery shopping._

Zelda: _Good idea, Link._

Link: Well I'm _glad you think so, ZEL-DUH!_

Zelda: You tryna start something?

MH: Guys, chill out.

Falco: I don't mind going grocery shopping.

Fox: Me neither, but it's gonna take an army of us to fill the whole kitchen again...

Roy: Well, we have one kitchen on each floor except one, which is two kitchens since we have three floors in the mansion.

Marth: ...Why didn't you just say "we have two kitchens"?

MH: Ok, so who's going? I'm not, I just got back.

Fox: I'll go.

Falco: I will.

Zelda: I guess I will too.

Link: Well, if she's going so am I.

Marth: Well it they're going so am I.

Roy: Well if he's going so am I.

MH: ...That's six people. We need more than that!

Samus: (waking up and coming downstairs, still in the clothes she wore yesterday) Hey guys, what's for breakfast?

MH: ...Perfect. That's seven, we'll see you guys later!

Samus: Huh?

Fox: I'll drive.

Falco: Are you kidding me? You drive like a frickin' maniac on fire!

Fox: And _you _drive better?

Falco: Well yeah!

Roy: Whatever, I'll drive!

Marth: Are you kidding? You drive like an old lady!

Link: Why don't I just drive?

Zelda: Because you drive fast and don't pay any attention to the traffic! I can drive though-

Link: No you can't! _You _drive like we're gonna blow up with every corner we take!

Samus: Why can't I drive?

Falco: Uh, because I wanted to first.

Marth: Well, you guys probably don't know the way anyhow because you never go grocery shopping.

Samus: ...True.

Falco: And you do?

Marth: Yeah, who else does it around here? Besides Peach, it's not like the food comes out of thin air!

Falco: Well, rock paper scissors will decide this!

Zelda: Oh boy...

Marth: Bring it. Rock...

Falco: Paper...

both: SCISSORS!

Marth: (paper)

Falco: ...(scissors)

Marth: Oh my god! You cheated!

Falco: Did not! You just have slow eyesight!

Marth: Did to you stupid pigeon!

Falco: Did not you blue-haired faggot!

Marth: You have blue hair too!

Falco: It isn't hair, they're feathers.

Marth: Well it's still just as blue as mine!

Zelda: GUYS! I JUST WANTED TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING!

Link: Really!

Falco: I'm still driving.

Marth: Ugh, fine. Stubborn little shi-

Falco: Ha! I always win! especially against sissies like y-

Roy: Ok well we'd better get going now huh before everyone else wakes up yep that's what it looks like to me!

Samus: Uh, ok!

-In the vehicle

Roy: Shotgun!

Fox: Dammit!

Samus: Aw, you just wanted to sit next to Falco didn't you?

Fox: ...Noooooooo!

Samus: HA!

Zelda: Whatever, I don't think we're gonna have enough room unless some of us get in the trunk.

Link: Yeah, but after we go shopping the groceries will take up half the car.

Marth: Grr, where's our bus when we need it.

Roy: Those stupid brats took it for their trip...

Falco: Ok, I'm driving-

Marth: We covered that already!

Falco: I wasn't finished! I was saying that I'm driving, Roy's in the passenger seat, 3 of you can have the backseat, and 2 of you can have the trunk. We can tie the groceries that don't fit in the car to the top! Genius, right?

Fox: ...Falco, the groceries are just gonna fall off.

Falco: Will not! I'll buy a load of bungee cords. And if they fall off, we just go back and get them!

Fox: Uh, ok. Whatever.

Samus: That's my line! And I want the back seat right, behind Roy.

Roy: Why, so you can annoy me?

Samus: No!

Marth: I guess I'll sit in the middle so Fox can sit behind Falco.

Fox: Oh my god shut up, it's not like that!

Zelda: ...Ok, I guess Link and I are in the trunk. Boy, that sucks.

Link: No it doesn't! I love the trunk!

Zelda: ...You need medication.

Roy: Great so now we have to listen to you guys the whole way.

Link: Listen to us what?

Zelda: Oh my god Roy, keep that in your own brain.

Link: What? I'm confused!

Roy: Hehehehe!

Zelda: And I'm sure you were thinking of Marth when you said that too!

Marth: Hey, leave me out of this!

Roy: Zelda, seriously!

Falco: And we're off!

Drive off to the grocery store

Marth: Oh, you sure you don't need directions?

I apologize for that chapter, it was long, but not very funny. It was more just like arguing and stupid crap. And a lot of arguing. Now, back to the basic closure. Will Falco make it to the grocery store without help? Will he drive safely? What's are Link and Zelda gonna do in the trunk? And what's Samus gonna do to Roy? And Fox to Falco? And Roy to Marth? Will anything happen at all? Will they find the desired groceries, and the bungee cords in a grocery store? Will it stay on the top? Oh my god, that's a lot of questions! And of course, find out next time in

**chapter 5**


	5. Francis and the Beetle

So? How was chapter 4? Crappy I'm sure. Except for Kaeryu, who is easily amused by my poor efforts. ;; If any of you few readers and reviewers have any suggestions for the next chapter or problems with all these chapters, plz tell me so I don't look like an idiot. I try, I do it for you people! I DO IT FOR YOU! So here's chapter 5. Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM...(well, actually i own the game, but...not the people. so technically, i do in a way) Enough rambling get on with the show! This chapter is mostly adventure. Sorry guys. And beware of very mild shonen-ai. Also sorry, I just had to do it.

**Chapter Five - Francis and the Beetle**

Falco was driving Samus, Fox, Marth, Link, Zelda, and Roy to the grocery store since they mysteriously ran out. He doesn't know the way, but Marth refuses to tell him. What a jerk!

Falco: Seriously Marth! You've gotta tell me the way!

Marth: Why should I? You wouldn't let me drive, cheated at rock, paper, scissors, then DENIED cheating, and now you're asking for my help?

Falco: Well come on! Do you wanna get to the grocery store or not?

Marth: Let's just see you find it on your own, you are a pilot after all, aren't you?

Falco: Yeah...

- 25 minutes later, Link, Marth, Roy, and Fox are all asleep -

Samus: (trying to wake Roy up by doing annoying things like poking him)

Falco: Leave him alone.

Samus: Make me! (sticking out tongue childishly)

Falco: (sigh) I'll pull over if I have to.

Zelda: How can you? There aren't any shoulder lanes out here. They aren't any lanes period!

Marth: (waking up) What? Then where are we, you buzzard?

Falco: Uh, go back to sleep, you're imagining things...

Marth: eh, ok...(goes back to sleep)

Zelda: Where ar-

(car hits a very large bump, causing the unstable vehicle to jolt severly)

Link: OW!

Zelda: Oh no, are you ok, Link?

Samus: What did we hit, a whale?

Falco: I don't know, I can barely see!

Fox: Do you have any idea where we are, for the third time?

Falco: No! Marth should've told me where the store was!

Marth: (waking) You should've let me drive. (going back to sleep)

Samus: (poking Roy) _He's still asleep..._

(hitting another large bump, causing pretty much everyone to hit something, even with a seatbelt)

Link: ARRGH! Let someone else drive!

Fox: Yeah!

Roy: (finally waking up) Are we at the store yet?

Zelda: No, and I doubt we ever will be! Thanks a lot Falco!

Falco: Stop ganging up on me and help me out!

Roy: Let Marth drive! He knows the way.

Fox: Yeah, but I don't think it matters out here. We don't have a compass, we can't see anything, and we're in the middle of nowhere.

Samus: So even if you knew the way, we're still gonna die.

all: ...

Falco: Ok, Marth. Drive.

Marth: Thank you and finally. (switching places w/ Falco)

Roy: Uh oh...

Samus: What'd you do Roy?

Roy: ...Nothing, we're just out of gas.

Marth: WHAT? (vehicle stops completely)

Link: ...And how long had you been driving for, Falco?

Falco: Not that long, it was 3/4 empty when we got in.

Marth: ...COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE?

(it began to rain)

Marth: ...Kill me now...

Fox: Well, at least we can push the vehicle to safety.

(car's tires all flatened)

Fox: ...

Zelda: Well, at least we have cell phones so we can call for help!

Link: No, the signal's dead.

Zelda: ...

Marth: Everything you say that includes "well, at least" goes bad.

Samus: Well, at least Roy doesn't secretly have a crush on me or something!

Roy: ...

Samus: ...

Roy: ...

Samus: ...damn.

Marth: Come on, we can't just sit here forever.

Roy: Yeah, we'll eventually have to eat. Dammit, why couldn't the car break down _after _we went grocery shopping?

Marth: Because Falco had to drive.

Falco: Argh! Shut up about it! I'm sorry!

Fox: Let's get out and look for help, or at least see where we are.

Zelda: But it's raining!

Fox: ...Like I said, let's get our and look for help.

Marth, Roy, Link, Falco, Fox, and Samus: (getting out of car)

Zelda: ...Ok! I'll just stay behind, and...watch the car! Good luck...

Link: 'kay, see ya.

Zelda: ...They're really leaving me...(sobbs)

- Meanwhile... -

Link and Roy lead, using their swords to cut through mysteriously tall grass while Falco and Fox guard the rear, guns in hand. Marth and Samus are...somewhere in the middle.

Link: Damn, this grass never ends!

Roy: I _know! _And my foot itches _real _bad!

Link: ...Man, this grass is _tall!_

Falco: Where's Zelda?

Link: Uhhhh...

**Flashback**

Zelda: ...Ok! I'll just stay behind, and...watch the car! Good luck...

Link: 'kay, see ya.

**End of Flashback**

Link: Dunno.

Fox: She's probably ok.

(rustling in the grass to the right)

Samus: En Gardé! (aiming imaginary gun at the noise, since she doesn't have her suit on) Aw, shit!

Marth: Quiet.

all: (listening)

Roy: ...BOO! hahahahahaha!

Falco: (sigh) Let's go.

Roy: (still laughing) I scared you all, that was classic.

Samus: Ok, we're scared to death, now SHUT UP!

- Meanwhile -

Zelda: ...

Zelda: That's it, I'm going after them!

Zelda: Guys! I'm coming! GUUUYYSS!

- Meanwhile, back in the grass from hell -

(rustling from behind)

Link: Wuzzat?

Falco: I don't know, but me and Fox will go check it out. We wouldn't want anything following us.

Fox: Yeah, and we shouldn't stop for this anyway, so you guys keep going.

Marth: Ok, we'll...meet up later, I guess.

Fox: Yeah. (leaving with Falco in the opposite direction)

Link: I hope it wasn't anything dangerous.

Zelda: Waaiiittt guys!

Link: ...Did y'all here something?

Marth: No, now shut up and let's go.

Samus: I'm with you on that one.

- Fox and Falco -

Fox: ...Why did I go with you? Now we're twice as lost! And Link and Roy even left a trail of fallen grass that leads back to the vehicle and we still got lost!

Falco: So what if I have a bad sense of direction? And isn't that Zelda's shoe?

Fox: ...What?

Falco: No, really. (picking up pink thing) Yeah, it is!

Fox: So she is out here! ZELDA!

Falco: She's off the trail too, like us. So she could be lost, like us!

Fox: We gotta go find her!

- Marth, Link, Roy, and Samus -

Link: Hey guys, I'm cold and wet and hungry. And thirsty.

Roy: Cool, me too.

Samus: I don't think we're going to find any help in this forest of grass. Let's turn back.

Marth: What? We've already come this far!

Roy: Yeah, and we were looking for food too! And I'm reeeallly hungryyy!

Link: Me too!

Samus: (sigh) Alright, but can we at least take a break?

Link: Yeah, I have to go to the bathroom anyway. (wandering off)

Marth: Ok, my shoes are killing me.

Roy: And I'm tired too.

Samus: But you took a loooooong nap in the car.

Roy: Only 35 minutes.

Samus: ...You counted?

Roy: Well yeah.

Samus: ...weird.

(load woman's scream in the distance)

Marth: Oh no, Link!

Samus: Uh, it says "woman's" scream.

Marth: Oh...well then, what's wrong with you?

Samus: IT WASN'T ME!

Roy: I bet it was Zelda!

Marth: Right, she could be in danger! Let's go find her!

all: (running ahead, slicing grass at an astonishing rate)

- Fox and Falco -

Fox: Ok, we're lost, we haven't found that thing behind us, food, help, or Zelda.

Falco: And what are you gonna do about it?

Fox: I don't know, I'm just tired, I'm taking a break.

Falco: Ok me too. (second later, falls asleep)

Fox: Great.

- Meanwhile -

Link: Much bett- hey! Where'd those losers go?

Zelda: LINK!

Link: Zelda? What are you doing here?

Zelda: I sensed you were in danger so I just couldn't stay back at the car! I had to go and help you!

Link: ...You were just scared weren't you?

Zelda: Yeah.

Link: (sigh) Well, Fox and Falco are back somewhere and the others left without me.

Zelda: If we run fast enough, maybe we can find them.

Link: Uh, ok, let's do that!

both: (running at full speed following the cut grass)

- Marth, Samus, Roy -

Roy: Crap! We forgot Link!

Samus: Damn, let's stay here for him. Zelda will have to wait.

Marth: Urgh...hurry up...

Link and Zelda: Hey there they are! (running to meet them)

Link: What'd you guys leave m-

Samus and Marth: Zelda, you're ok!

Zelda: Yeah, of course I am.

Roy: Then, that scream we heard...it wasn't you?

Zelda: No, you heard someone scream?

Link: Man, this is getting creepy.

all: (continue walking)

Samus: Let's just find a bunch to eat then turn around.

Zelda: (leaning against Link for warmth) Ok, but let's be fast, we've already gone too far from the vehicle.

Roy: Good point, and we nee- (falls into a mysertious hole in the ground)

Marth: (not watching where he was going, fell into the same hole)

Samus: Guys?

Hole: (covering itself back up)

Zelda: Oh no! They fell in that hole!

Hole: Hey! The name's Francis!

Link: Uh, ok. They fell in Francis!

Samus: Let them out, Francis!

Francis: Bwahahahaha! Never!

- Inside Francis -

Marth: Owww...

Roy: Where are we?

Marth: I don't know- holy shit!

Roy: What's that thing!

(a big thing that looks like a beetle that grew 10 sizes came into view, angry)

Beetle: Who are you people?

Roy: Oh, it's talking?

Marth: Uh...

Beetle: Answer me! (blowing fire at them)

Roy: (defending Marth/getting charred by the fire ((nothing he isn't used to i'm sure)))

Marth: How can we answer you if you're trying to kill us!

Beetle: ...Ok, I'll give you 5 seconds.

Roy: I'm Roy.

Marth: I'm Marth.

Beetle: I don't like those names! So I'm gonna kill you! (blowing more fire)

Marth: That's a dumb reason! OW! (arm slightly burned by fire)

Roy: Marth! Move outta the way!

- Meanwhile -

Zelda: Uh, 17?

Francis: Nope.

Link: 69?

Francis: Not even close.

Samus: Stupid hole! How are we supposed to guess a number between 1 and 100?

Francis: Ok, ok! I'll tell ya! It was 122! Hahahahaha!

Link: ...

Zelda: ...

Samus: ...

Francis: Ok, another one. This time between 1and 50.

Zelda: Umm...89?

Francis: No, this time it's actually between the numbers.

Zelda: Ok, just making sure.

- Inside Francis -

Beetle: Why won't you diiiiiiiiiie! (throwing chunks of earth at them)

Francis: ouch.

Roy: I lied! My name's actually...Link!

Marth: Yeah, and I'm Samus!

Beetle: ...

Marth: ...?

Roy: ...?

Beetle: Even worse! (blowing the ever-popular _fire_)

Roy: (counters the fire, while also getting singed)

Beetle: OOOOWWW! OUCH! (on fire, swinging arms and legs in a rampage, knocking away some of the earth)

Roy: How'd you like that?

Marth: Shut up, showoff.

Roy: Ok, Beetle! Stop...flipping out and fight me!

Beetle: (not listening, swinging around in a rampage, knocking away more earth, causing it to shake, causing Marth to fall over, causing...)

Marth: (picking up a white sash on the ground that looked fairly recent) What's thi-

Beetle: You will not...survive! (knocks Roy over on top of Marth, who quickly put the sash in his pocket)

Beetle: Ouch my hand! (slams around even worse)

- Outside Francis -

Francis: OW! What is that beetle doing?

(soon, the whole ground area caved in and Zelda, Link, and Samus fell in)

Roy: (still on Marth) You know...you have really beautiful eyes...

Marth: (slaps Roy)

Samus: You guys! (running over to them)

Zelda: Are you alright?

Roy: Uh, pretty much, all the dude's been doing is going crazy and running into walls.

Link: Well, that's good, he's an idiot.

Marth: Yeah, and he doesn't like our names. ROY GET OFF ME!

Roy: Ok, sorry. Link, you should try shooting the beetle, for the sake of this planet.

Link: Hmm, good idea. (shoots beetle in the eye with arrow, causing it to fall over dead)

Samus: ...Well damn.

Roy: You got mad skills.

Link: Naw, he's just a wuss.

Marth: Well, now we're underground...

- Fox and Falco -

Falco: (still asleep)

Fox: (irritated) WAKE UP! THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE AND YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING!

Falco: Oh...I'm up.

Fox: I think that's where the others were. Let's go check it out. And this time, I'm leading.

Falco: Ok, ok.

- Meanwhile -

Zelda: Heeeeeeeeelp! (cough cough) Heeeee-

Link: Zelda! No one's coming.

Zelda: (crying on Link) We're doomed!

Samus: No we aren't! Look!

Fox: How'd you guys get down there?

Link: Long story, just get us out.

(soon, they were all out. No one knows how, but whatever)

Fox: Hey, while I was waiting for Falco to wake up, I found 2 tanks of gas and a map!

Zelda: Cool! Then let's go grocery shopping!

Link: OK!

Roy: So, who's driving?

all: ...

The end of that chapter! That was way more action and adventure than I'd planned for, so sorry. It wasn't very humorous. Or was it? I had fun typing it, so tell me if it was good in your review! That you will without a doubt leave me! Um, right, the questions. Will they escape the forest? Will they make it to the grocery store? Who will be driving? Where did Fox get the gas and map? What's the deal with Zelda's shoe and the white sash? Are they articfacts of the unknown? Find out next time, in

**chapter 5, i mean 6!**


	6. The Shop of DEATH!

This story is officially dedicated to Kaeryu because this person (still not quite sure if they're a boy or a girl Oo) is one of the few who reviews me on a daily basis, or every time I update. First of all, I think I'm doing a pretty good job of updating fast, pretty much everyday, but does that make my stories low quality? Not to mention the very seldom typos we come across. And secondly, I'm still thankful for all your reviews everybody, but think about it. I update fast, have little typos, use capital letters and punctuation, don't do a bunch of stupid fangirls stuff like talk to the SSB people (though I might eventually, but I won't be retarded about it), and I'm always keeping you up to date with this stuff, as you will see later. I'm not fishing for compliments or credit, but 8 reviews on 5 or 6 chapters is pit-i-ful. This chapter has a lot of suspense. And here's an example of keeping you "up to date".

**Chapter 6 - The Shop of DEATH!**

Last time, Fox, Falco, Link, Zelda, Roy, Samus, and Marth were all lost in a forest in search of the grocery store, as a result of Falco's driving. They searched through the rain and grass for help, food, and a map (plus gas) and Roy and Marth were eaten by a hole! I mean Francis! They encountered a beetle, Link killed it, Fox found a map! (plus gas) Now they are continuing to the grocery store. But what's the deal with the white sash Marth found and the pink shoe Falco found?

Roy: So, who's driving?

all: . . .

Fox: Well, I found the gas and the map, so I should!

Samus: I don't think I trust animal pilots so much anymore.

Falco: (scoffs) Not me that's for sure.

Roy: How about me?

Marth: We'd all die of starvation before we reached the store if you drove.

Roy: Aw, come on, I'm not that slow!

Zelda: Samus! You drive!

Samus: Ok!

Link: . . . That was fast.

Zelda: Shotgun!

Link: I call the right!

Falco: . . . Why? I mean I call left!

Fox: Dibs on the middle seat!

Marth: (groan)

Roy: _Why me?_

Samus: Ok, fill 'er up and gimme the map!

Fox: . . . What?

Samus: Put gas in the car and give me the map!

Fox: Oh, alright.

Samus: Hmmm . . .

Zelda: (leaning closely) Can you read that?

Samus: Maybe, except this is a **TOPOGRAPHIC MAP!**

Fox: . . . Well, at least we have gas!

Link: Let's just go the opposite direction until we're in town, then Marth can give up directions from there!

Falco: Those 2 tanks aren't gonna last us, so we'll have to get more in town too.

Zelda: Then we can go grocery shopping!

all: YAY!

Link: . . .That was awkward.

Roy: Let's never do that again.

Fox: Ok. Well, we've got 1/3 of our gas filled.

Falco: Plus this thing gets good mileage.

Samus: Alright, let's go!

(drives in reverse for about 6 minutes)

Marth : TURN AROUND SAMUS!

Samus: Oh, ok. I knew something wasn't right...

Marth: We're doomed. . . .

(drive for a long time until everyone is asleep)

(vehicle crashs lightly into a telephone pole)

Falco: Samus! Wake up!

Samus: Huh? Where's the fire?

Fox: You fell asleep?

Samus: ;; I didn't mean to!

Zelda: Ugh. . .

Roy: Hey, look! We're in town!

Link: And the vehicle still runs!

Samus: But we're on double empty.

Fox: Find a gas station quick!

Zelda: (cell phone rings) Hello?

Peach: Zelda, it's Peach! Are you at the store?

Zelda: Almost.

Peach: ALMOST! You've been gone forever, and Mario and many others are having seizures from lack of food!

Zelda: HOLY-

Peach: Please hurry! Even Master Hand is feeling sick!

Zelda: probably from those frickin tentacles...Ok, Peach. We'll get there AsSoonAsPossible!

Peach: Hurry, you only have about an hour until someone dies, and we've already fed them part of Marth's bed!

Zelda: Uh. . . (looking back at Marth)

Marth: What?

Zelda: Ok, we'll be fast, just don't feed them my bed!

Marth: WHAT?

Peach: Ok, Zellie, be fast!

Zelda: Ok. (hangs up) Guys, we need to-

Marth: They're eating my bed!

Zelda: Marth, calm down! We need to be fast because (explains situation)

Samus: Got it! (stepping on it)

Fox: There's a gas station-

Falco: And there's the store! We don't have time, we'll get gas later-

Samus: Everybody, get out and run to the store and shop, I'll fill this car up and catch you later.

Link: . . . Great idea!

all except Samus: (getting and and running to the store, looking like idiots)

Samus: (paitently waiting for gas to fill up)

Zelda: Here we are, Laz-ee Shopp. Can't these people spell?

Marth: Who cares? People are dying, now let's go!

(Inside the store, is everything)

Falco: Let's split up. Fox and I will-

Zelda: How come it always has to be you and Fox?

Falco: Because I'm the only one that can tolerate him.

Fox: Probably true. . .

Falco: Ok, we'll go get the bread and carbs and all that, Zelda and Link can get the dairy and meats, and Roy and Marth can go get fruits and vegetables. Samus can get the junk food once she gets in. Understood?

Zelda: Got it, now let's go! And since when do you know the food pyramid, Falco?

Falco: Since I started eating.

(they split up, first: to Zelda and Link. Don't ask why)

Link: Uh, what did we have again?

Zelda: Dairy and meats. Let's see, here's some eggs, pork, you go look at the dairy.

Link: Ok. (looking at the dairy) Might as well get everything here. I hope we can afford it. . .

(Marth and Roy)

Roy: What's this?

Marth: That's celery. Get some.

Roy: Ok. And why do I have to look at the vegetables? I hate vegetables!

Marth: Well. . .too bad. Get some squash while you're over there.

Roy: (groan)

(Falco and Fox)

Falco: We have a lot of things to get. Go to the pasta section, and I'll look at breads.

Fox: Ok. (getting rice, pasta, rigatoni, macaroni, fettuchini-)

Falco: (getting bread, bread, bread, bread-)

Fox: Ok, are we done now?

Falco: I think so, let's load up on cereal for the kids though.

Strangers: They must be on the "all-carb diet". . .

(Link and Zelda)

Link: Cheese, creamer, milk, yogurt, butter, ice cream...might as well get some more cheese.

Zelda: I'm going to the **deli** now, Link. So keep looking.

Link: Ok. . .man, all they have is cheese! I guess I'll get some more milk . . .

Zelda: Hi, I need a pound of Prima Della smoked ham, turkey. . .pretty much everything you have, I'll take a pound.

Deli Lady: . . .How thin?

(Marth and Roy)

Roy: Ah, Marth! Help, the sprinklers are attacking me!

Marth: Roy . . .

Roy: No, really, they came on as soon as I got close! They're possessed!

Marth: Roy! You're scaring people! Shut up!

Random Lady: You two know each other?

Marth: Yeah?

Random Lady: Are you-

Marth: Oh, look at that! I think we're done here, let's go find the others!

Roy: Good, I think I got every vegetable in this store at least twice. . .

Marth: Yeah, same with the fruits. . . I hope you like starfruit.

Roy: What?

(Falco and Fox)

Falco: What do you think, Trix or Frosted Flakes?

Fox: Eh, they both have cheesy looking cartoon people on them, how about Honey Bunches of Oats?

Falco: These are kid's cereals! They like the cheesy cartoon people!

Fox: Ok, Trix. Oh, we forgot!

Falco: Forgot. . . ?

Fox: Trail mix and mixed nuts!

Falco: (sigh) Fine, get those, I'll keep looking at the cereals. . .

(Zelda)

Zelda: (watching wide-eyed in horror as the lady slowly. . .cuts. . the meat. . .sloowwllyy)

Zelda: (sweating) . . .I'm. . .kinda in a hurry. . .

Deli Lady: What's that you say?

Zelda: I said can you pick up the pace? I'm in a hurry!

Deli Lady: Oh, sure. . .(begins cutting a lot faster, successfully chops finger off, falls to the floor dead)

Zelda: . . .(hops over counter and takes a lot of the meat, even unsliced) Thank you!

(Link)

Link: . . .Might as well get Feta cheese, it's the only kinda I haven't gotten, oh and Monterey Jack. .

Zelda: Link! Let's go! I think we're done here! I've got fish, beef, pork, ham, turkey, chicken, bacon, and even lamb! Plus eggs and some sirloin steak too. What'd you get?

Link: I got 2 milk (because it's better than 1), skim milk, creamer, yogurt, ice cream in 6 flavors, butter, provolone, american, cheddar, feta, colby jack, monterey jack, swiss. . .

Marth: Hey, there's Link and Zelda!

Link: Bodega goat, blue, cream, munster, brie, limberger, mozzarella, ricotta, gouda, cottage, Venezuela Beaver-

Zelda: Well, I hope Fox and Falco got a lot of bread, because it looks like we'll be having a lot of deli sandwiches for a while.

(Samus)

Samus: Hm? A note? -get the junk food- ok!

(Falco and Fox)

Falco: Ready?

Fox: Yeah. (walk around for a while, until finding-)

Falco: Hey, there's Roy!

Fox: What are you doing here all by yourself?

Roy: I don't know, I was just looking at the lobsters, and I turned around, and Marth was gone!

Falco: . . .You idiot.

Fox: Come on, we can find them.

Falco: See? There they are!

Zelda: Hey guys! Are we all done?

Fox: Yeah, and we only have, 15 minutes left!

Link: Come on, let's go to the self checkout isle!

(In the self checkout isle)

Voice: Welcome. Please place your items on the scanner, and then the conveyor belt.

Link: Yeah, shut up. 15 minutes people!

all: (placing things on the scanner 5 at a time)

Roy: This better work!

Samus: Hey guys, here's the junk food! (cart full of everything from the candy section)

Falco: Nice!

Marth: We're gonna die.

Voice: Error has occured with grocery number 785, please rescan.

Roy: MAYBE WE DON'T WANT TO!

Marth: STUPID MACHINE!

Samus: (rescanning the feta cheese)

Link: Aw, I knew I'd got the bad one!

Zelda: (down bagging all the groceries with Falco 16 at a time)

Fox: (moving bags into one of 7 carts)

(eventually, after about 26 errors and 50 frustrated screams from Samus, Roy, Marth and Link)

Voice: Your total comes to **$647,865.54**.

Fox: Put it on the card!

Samus: (groan) Why mine. . .(scanning card)

Zelda: We're done! Now let's hurry and get home! People's lives are depe-

Link: Stop talking and move!

all: (running carts out to vehicle, looking like idiots since Samus is the only one who knows where they parked)

Fox: (after circling the parking lot 4 times) Where are we Samus?

Samus: Over here! No, that's not us. . .

Zelda: (cell phone ringing) Yeah?

Peach: Mario's out cold! Hurry! (hangs up)

Zelda: SAMUS HURRY AND FIND THE CAR DAMMIT!

Samus: (whimpering) I hate to do this. . .(presses the emergency alarm button)

Car: (going off like a tornado siren, while Roy was right next to it)

Roy: (falls over, dead?)

Marth: I found it!

all: (getting in, after loading the groceries)

Falco: We forgot the bungee cords!

Fox: Shit! Falco, you moron!

Falco: Zelda and Samus, you two stay in the front. The groceries will go in the back seat and trunk.

Link: What about us?

Falco: . . . . . .We're riding on the top.

Marth: (pale)

Fox: Awesome!

Link: What about Roy?

Roy: That's ok, I'm. . .alive. . .

Samus: (gassing it)

Link, Falco, Marth, Fox, and Roy: AAAAAAHH! We're gonna die!

Strangers on the road: Oh, golly, look at those morons.

Samus: Hang on! literally. . .(running every red light, stop sign, and child crossing the street)

Marth: You hit. . .that dude!

Roy: MURDERER!

Falco: There's the mansion!

Link: Quick, Zelda! Gimme a food!

Zelda took a loaf of bread and handed it up to Link, who tied it to an arrow and shot it through the mansion window where he could see a lot of commotion. Then he saw people inside diving for the bread and devouring it. Samus continued up their street at 114 miles per hour until they came to an abrupt halt, which forced Marth, Roy, Link, and Fox off the top of the car. Falco simply flew up to the front door and entered. It wasn't a good idea.

Peach: There they are! Everybody, who's still alive, remain calm and we'll prepare a large dinner feast. If you are on the verge of death, you can eat some fruit.

People on the verge of death: (EATING THE FRUIT)

MH: Job well done, you seven. You're all getting a raise!

All: YAY!

Marth: Damn, we did it again.

Falco: Oh well, it was worth it that time!

Suspenseful, eh? I did the best I could to make it funny. This is supposed to be an example of the Wal-Mart in Bentonville, the Supercenter. The Deli is so slow, you could get the rest of your groceries before they're ready. The self-checkout isle is a disaster, they aren't very convienent. Not to mention it's bloody impossible to remember where the shit you parked. The sprinklers are possessed, the lobsters are hypnotic, they have a lot of cheese and starfruit and stuff. So I guess unless you live in Bentonville or are Kaeryu, you wouldn't fully understand. Um, what will the feast be like? How high will those seven's raise be? What's gonna become of Mario? Are Link, Roy, Fox, and Marth gonna live through the collision with the wall? Marth obviously will since he said something earlier. Will that old car ever run again after it's dreadful experience? Will Master Hand be able to pay off the **$647,865.54 **collected on Samus's card? Find out, in

**chapter 7!**


	7. Punishment Part 1

Here we go again. Sorry about the slow update, but I'm not getting many reviews so not a whole lot of people are even enjoying this story, much less waiting for an update. Maybe Kaeryu...take that back. Nobody. Plus school. So here I go, for my own entertainment. Chapter seven. Don't behold if you don't want to...

**Chapter 7 - Punishment Part 1**

Last time, our heroes (sounds like the beginning of an episode of "Pokémon"...) went grocery shopping for their starving friends. So while they all celebrate and eat to their delight, Ness and the others are on their way back from the trip. We'll just get to them later though. For now, THE FEAST!

Master Hand: Hey, it's the bill...**$647,865.54!**

Samus: Uhhh...

Link: Wow, that didn't take long to get in.

Peach: That's a lot of money!

Master Hand: ... ... ... ... ...

Samus: ... ... You said they were starving!

Master Hand: I didn't say it was a world-wide FAMINE!

Samus: (cowering)

Master Hand: This is an outrage!

Marth: (still unloading groceries) Well, at least we won't have to go shopping for a while!

Master Hand: Oh, I don't think _aaany _of you will be shopping ever again. And no, the milk expires.

Marth: Damn...

Falco: Look, we're sorry! We were in a hurry and weren't paying attention to the price!

Roy: We'll make it up to you! And besides, their sprinklers were possessed!

all: ... ... ... ... ...

Roy: ... ... Well they _were!_

MH: (ahem) The matter of the fact is that this...**$647,865.54**... is way over our budget.

Samus: (To Fox) You'd think with all these people there wouldn't be a budget...

Fox: Yeah. Listen, Master Hand, we can worry about the money later. For now, can we just eat?

MH: ... ... ...Ok, sure.

all: (eating happily)

Soon, the meal was finished.

Mario: Wow! That was good!

MH: Yeah, now about that money-

Fox: Oh look! The mail's here! Lemme go get that for ya...

Zelda: I have to do the dishes, I mean look at this place! It's a mess! I'll get right on that...

Samus: Yeah, I'm gonna help her...

Falco: I have to help Captain Falcon with that project he started...

Link: I have to help Falco help "the" Captain Falcon with that...ha ha...

Marth: ... ...

Roy: ... ... ...We're screwed aren't we?

Marth: Oh yeah.

MH: (in a lecturely tone) This is too much money for me to pay off myself. You know that, right?

Roy: Well, I do now.

Marth: Stop being smart!

Roy: What?

MH: Silence! From this day on, you and all those other little pansies who just ran off, will be doing chores around here. I'm taking the money out of your pockets! Understood?

Roy: No, not the pockets!

Marth: Shut up! Yes, Master Hand.

MH: Good! Now, I need to go watch my soaps...

Marth: ... ... ...

Roy: ... ... ...

Peach: ... ... Ha! You got served!

Marth: Oh, bite me!

Peach: Hahaha I'd like to see you guys do chores for once!

Roy: Do shut up!

Peach: Ha! Ha ha! I bet you guys haven't done a chore in your life, right?

Marth: No!

Peach: You guys are so used to being treated royally you don't know the real world!

Roy: You're one to talk!

Peach: Ha! Ho ho! This is hilarious! You, doing chores! Ha! Never thought I'd see it! (laughing her head off)

Marth: ... ...Let's-

Peach: Hahahahahaha!

Marth: Oh just shut up!

Peach: Bwahahahehehehaha!

Roy: God, Marth! What's wrong with her?

Peach: Blehehehehehe! Bwahahackahahakchahak!

Zelda: (enters room) What the hell is going on? Oh, Peach!

Marth: Hey remember when we had to give Peach a sedagive-

Roy: Sedative.

Marth: Sedative to stop her "Lord of the Rings" disease?

Zelda: Yeah, I remember.

Marth: ... ... ... ... ... ...well?

Zelda: Oh! Let's go get Ganondorf!

(In the living room)

Ganondorf: Hahaha! Bueno! Oh hahahahaha!

Zelda: Hey, Ganondorf? Can we have another sedative?

Ganondorf: Oh, uh-huh sure. Here you go.

Roy: That was fast. Think he always carries one around, just in case?

Marth: Roy, shut up.

(Back in the kitchen)

Peach: Hahahahackhackcoughcoughhahahahaa!

Zelda: For your own good, Peach! (forcing Peach to drink the sedative)

Peach: (out like a light)

(The next day...)

Samus: Hmmm, I wonder when those little brats are coming back from their trip.

Zelda: Uh, never?

Samus: Eh, I don't know. Hope so. Hey I wonder what's for breakfast.

(downstairs, the smell of fresh baked pie and pancakes fills the room and an aroma of bacon and eggs accompanies it)

Zelda: Wow, something smells great!

In the room, everyone was seated around their enormous table, only it seemed to have a few less chairs than usual. But maybe that's because of the trip the young ones took.

Samus: (sitting down in chair) Oh, it looks like the brat- I mean, the little people are back!

Ness: (glaring at Samus)

Kirby: (enters room) Hey, bitch. Outta my chair.

Samus: Huh? You talking to me?

Kirby: That's right I am! That's my chair!

Samus: I don't see your name on it anywhere!

Kirby: Get up!

Samus: (stands up to see Kirby's name engraved on the seat of the chair) Heh heh, sorry little dude.

Kirby: You better be. Hurry up with my food!

Marth: I'm cooking as fast as I can, Kirby! You're distracting me! (stove goes up in flames) OMG!

Zelda: Why are you cooking, Marth?

Marth: (putting out the fire) Because Master Hand told me to. And you'd better get on it too.

Zelda: Ack! I'm cooking?

MH: Turn over those eggs, Zelda, or you're dead.

Zelda: (flipping over black eggs) Heh heh, I'm doomed...

Roy: (taking pie out of oven, burning hand) Ouch! Son of a- (sets the pie on fire) Heh heh, how do you like tha-

Marth: Roy!

Roy: What? He burned me! ... Oh, was that your pie?

Marth: Roy! You are such a dumbass!

Roy: (crying)

MH: Cook you fools!

Link: (entering the room) Wow, that's a cool effect, with the fire!

Bowser: No it's not! That's my breakfast!

Roy: (crying) I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

MH: Oh shut up!

Luigi: I'm uh...gettin kinda hungry over here...yeah...

Zelda: Link, put on an apron and help with with these eggs!

Link: Aw, can't you get someone else to do it?

MH: (evil glare of death)

Link: Oh, yeah. I forgot. (helping with the eggs...which aren't really eggs anymore) Sheesh, Zelda. Can't you cook?

Zelda: I'm trying! Oh no! The bacon!

Falco: (enters room) Damn, guess I'll get started on the drinks.

Fox: (enters room) ...What's with the pie?

Roy: I SAID I WAS SORRY YOU BITCHES NOW SHUT UP IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

Fox: ...Hey! Bacon! (cooks the bacon)

Samus: Ok, Kirby. Here's your pancakes! (serving blackened frisbee-looking pancakes)

Kirby: I ain't eatin' these! (throws plate at Samus) Make 'em again, they're burnt!

Samus: Why you bloody little-

MH: MAKE THEM...again.

Samus: Sir yes _sir_!

MH: And don't use that tone with me!

Samus: Ok!

Pikachu: So...hungry...

Mario: Deja vu... ... ...

MH: This is ridiculous! Hurry up! We're starving over here again!

Zelda: Well Peach is the only decent cook here-

Marth: (ahem)

Zelda: Ok, Peach and Marth. I haven't cooked anything ever since I became royal, which was when I was born! (crying)

Link: Oh suck it up, we don't need your sob story! And your eggs are burning...still...

Zelda: Let's see you do better! (picks up firey egg with bare hands and pitches at Link)

Link: (ducks the egg)

Samus: (gets hit in face with flaming saucer ((egg))) Ah! Zelda, you stupid-

Zelda: Oh my god, Samus! I meant to hit Link!

Ganondorf: Stop fighting and gimme my damn eggs!

Roy: Samus! You're burning! I'll put it out for you! (accidently shoots fire at Samus) Aah! I'm too stupid for this!

Samus: OMG SOMEBODY HELP ME I'M ON FIRE GET OFF YOUR ASSES YOU LAZY- (runs out of the room screaming)

Falco: ... ... ...Here's your drinks everybody, probably the only thing you'll be getting _not burnt._

Fox: Hey, I'm doing pretty good with this bacon over here. (serving perfectly not burnt but still crispy bacon)

People at table: (devouring)

Popo: This is good! Thanks for not burning it, Roy!

Roy: Oh, you're welcome! Wait, something isn't burnt?

Yoshi: No! Everything is burnt. It's perfectly fine...

Roy: Ok, whew. That's a relief. Thought I was gonna have to burn something else...

Pichu, Mr. Game, Mewtwo: (leave table, but no one knows why because no one can understand them)

Captain Falcon: Guess I'll go find Samus. (leaves table)

MH: I'm still hungry! And those pancakes are ON FIRE!

Marth: (attending the pancakes)

Roy: (still staring at the pie he ruined) ... ...You want me to make you a new one, Marth?

Marth: (sigh) No, but at least do something useful, like do the dishes or something.

Ganondorf: What dishes? We haven't had anything to eat yet!

Bowser: I'm hungry! Hurry up or I'll eat you!

Fox: Lemme take care of the eggs, you guys.

Falco: Yeah, and I'll work on another pie. You guys just suck too much.

Zelda: Ok, thank you.

Link: ... ...I don't suck, I was doing good! It's just Zelda, she's horrible!

Zelda: (slaps Link) That's no way to talk to a princess!

Link: Hey, speaking of princesses...

Peach: Blargh! (enters the room looking like absolute shit)

Ness: AH! MONSTER!

Ganondorf: Oh, and the sedative has massively dramatic after-effects.

Mario: I'll take care of this. (takes Peach upstairs where you can hear hammering and duct tape stretching)

Roy: Hm, wonder why he keeps _that_ in his bedroom...

Marth: Roy! Get your mind outta the gutter!

Roy: Oh, ok! Sorry. But seriously.

Fox: (serving eggs, de-blackened)

Yoshi: Finally! (eating) These are great!

Luigi: Hooray for great food! Or, just food!

all at table: (eating happily)

Marth: (serving pancakes, also de-blackened) Oh, and we forgot syrup.

MH: What? How can you spend **$647,865.54** and forget syrup! I'd have thought you'd bought out the whole store!

Link: I remembered butter though!

MH: Oh, that's good.

Falco: Roy, that pie is in the oven. Stay away from it!

Roy: Alright!

Pikachu: No, want pie now.

Yoshi: Mmmm, pie.

Falco: 10 minutes, I promise.

(10 minutes later)

Roy: Oh! The pie's ready!

Falco: NO! (takes pie out before Roy could reach it)

Roy: (sulks)

Marth: (rolls eyes) Well, Master Hand, I think we're done.

Yoshi: Mmmmmm...

Ness: Pie.

After the pie was taken care of and the whole meal (breakfast) finished, Master Hand called Fox and Falco back to his room.

MH: Well, you two have proved worthy, so I will release you from your debt completely.

Fox: Really?

Falco: Sweet.

MH: So, you don't have to worry about debt anymore. Congratulations.

Fox: Awesome.

(Back in the living room)

Zelda: Ew, what are you watching?

Kirby: Uh, I don't know, it just came on.

Link: What are those? (pointing out the window)

Spinning things in the sky decend into the town about 5 miles away.

Roy: Oh my god! It's the possessed sprinklers from _Lazee-Shopp_!

Marth: No, they're helicopters.

Roy: ...Oh my god! Helicopters! What do you think they're in our town for?

Samus: Shall we go check it out?

Kirby: Be my guest. I ain't goin' nowhere near those things.

Link, Zelda, Samus, Marth, Roy, Fox, Falco, Ness, and Master Hand load into the car.

Link: (To Ness) Where'd you come from?

Ness: Your mom! ... ... ..Wait, not like that, I meant-

Link: You freak!

MH: Focus! Who's driving?

Marth: Uh, not Falco.

Zelda: Or Samus.

Roy: I'll drive!

Marth: Or Roy.

Roy: Oh you are _mean_!

Link: I'll drive.

They drive into town where they see the large hotel that everyone stays at to see the smashers. Helicopters with searchlights circle the building and the police are also everywhere around it. A small figure is on top of the building, carrying a large sack.

Roy: Hey, isn't it a little early for Santa?

Ness: No, a _small _figure.

Roy: Oh, right.

Cop #1: Come off the building with your hands up and surrender! Wait, how would that work...?

Cop #2: Surrender yourself, beast!

Figure: No!

MH: What's going on here?

Cop #2: That guy stole all the statues in the building!

Roy: So?

Cop #1: They're made of gold!

Roy: So?

Cop #2: ... ...Real gold!

Ness: Uh, so?

Cop #1: ... ...And diamonds and other gems! They cost a fortune!

Link: Well so? We can replace them.

Cop #2: They're one-of-a-kind!

Link: Aw, that won't get you nothin' in poker!

Zelda: Link! How can we help to get them back?

Cop #1: Go after the dude and get 'em back! But it must be before tomorrow at midnight. Otherwise they will disappear! For without the source that supplies the statues, they are weak and will disintergrate!

MH: Ok, Fox, Falco, and Ness! Come back with me! I'll take everyone out for ice cream!

Ness: Awesome!

Zelda: What about us?

MH: You're gonna get those statues back. It's part of your punishment.

Roy: That's so not fair!

MH: Later! (drives off)

Cop #1: You're going to get them back for us? (hugs Marth in tears) HOW CAN WE EVER REPAY YOU?

Roy and Cop #2: (smack Cop #1 on the head) Get off him.

Marth: Alright, we only have a few hours! Let's go already!

They all take off after him.

Marth: (To cops) Uh...why are you following us?

Cop #2: I don't know. We wanna help!

Samus: Alright! We'll take care of introductions later! Now let's movemovemovemovemove-

Link: Ok!

Well, that was lovely. That was for you, Kaeryu! Dedicated reviewer! And I put that pie in there just for you Eternal Smasher. Well, who is the robber? What will our heroes do to stop them? Will they make it before midnight? And what are the statues of? And why does this person want them so badly! Find out in

**chapter 8**


	8. Punshiment Part 2 Discovery

Alright! Thank you all for reviewing, you are all so kind! Here is chapter 8. My unique sense of humor, come unto me! This chaper will include pie, adventure, violence (though milder than crap), discovery (channel), and all sorts of mayhem! I hope you enjoy the eighth chapter of Life in the Smasher's Mansion. And be glad I'm updating, I could be doing science homework!

Link: You know, why is it called "Life in the Smasher's Mansion" if we aren't in the mansion half the time?

Nakoya: Silence!

Link: I mean really! This thing needs a new title!

Nakoya: I said be quiet you fool. (tries to punch Link)

Link: (ducks) Ha! You missed! And you're the authoress!

Marth: (comes up behind Link and stabs him through the middle with his sword)

Link: (dies)

Nakoya: Hey! He was in the next chapter! I mean this chapter!

Marth: Oh whoops...

Link: (walks in the room) Hey, whoa! What'd you do to my body double?

Nakoya: (relieved) Well, now we don't have a double for Link. Anyone wanna be Link's double?

Link: (sigh) This is all your fault Marth.

Nakoya: Well, the show must go on!

**Disclaimer: **I don't pwn Super Smash Brothers Melee, Link, Marth, Peach, Samus, and all my other characters. But I do own myself. So ha! And I also own this robber person. So you were wrong Kaeryu! Though good guess...

**Warning: **Any reproduction of ANY or ALL portions of this story is stricly prohibited. **If you are going to print this off or anything it had better say "Written and Created by: Nakoya T. or my real name" **otherwise it is PLAIGERISM! And why would you disrespect someone with such a mind as me? If I catch anyone (not that I could) plaigerizing my story I will shut down my story so no more ripping off can occur. Thank you, and sorry. I'm just very territorial and protective of my work.

**Chapter dedicated to: **PirateGoddess27, my new friend!

**Chapter 8 - Punishment Part 2 - Discovery**

Last we heard, Master Hand dumped off a few people to go catch the robber. Samus, Link, Marth, Zelda, Cop #1, Cop #2, and Roy are on a mission to catch this psycho who can magically carry about 10 statues on their back and still jump off buildings and land on their feet. They all ran after the theif, but fell behind and were left in the dust. Amazing that seven people cannot catch up to one person CARRYING ABOUT 10 STATUES!

Link: Aw, shut up! Let's see you do better Nakoya!

Uh, I don't think so! Now you shut up and get moving! I'm gonna eat some pie. (I really am right now, chocolate)

Cop #1: You're making me hungry! Aw, where are my doughnuts...?

Zelda: We must hurry! Master Hand is counting on us!

They all ran quite a ways until they found themselves in yet _ANOTHER_ dense forest, and man this one was **DENSE!**

Roy: 2 + 2!

Forest: Uh...I don't know! 22!

Roy: Wow, you _are_ dense!

Marth: Roy, look! (pointing at "something")

Roy: What is "it"?

Marth: That's what you need to go find out! (pushing Roy toward the "thing")

Roy approached the "thing" cautiously and when he got close enough, he could see "it" was a wounded animal. But it wasn't nearly as wounded as he thought.

Roy: OOWW!

Zelda: (removing little animal from Roy's finger) Aw! It's a cute little baby tiger! Isn't it adorable?

Roy: That...is not CUTE! Look at my fing-

Marth: Yeah, whatever. Aren't we supposed to be chasing a robber?

Cop #2: He's right! We're on a mission here, so leave the tiger and let's move!

Samus: Alright! Hey, look! A giant pyramid!

Link: Whoa, that's cool. Kinda like the mystic ruins in Sonic DX.

Zelda: Uh, aren't you getting a little off topic?

Tiger: (leaps from Zelda's arms and climbs to the entrance of the pyramid)

Cop #1: That thing must be crazy!

Marth: Why?

Cop #1: Because...that's a pyramid!

everyone: . . . . . . . .

Cop #1: Oh nevermind, I'm thinking of something else.

Zelda: Let's follow it! Maybe it can lead us to the robber!

Link: Yeah, right. You've seen way too many movies.

all: (entering the pyramid behind the little tiger, who was suddenly named ikki ikki)

Ikki Ikki: Mew!

Zelda: AWWW! That's so cu-

Marth: Shhh! I hear something!

Roy: No, I think you just like interrupting peo-

Marth: Will you be quiet?

Roy: See what I mean?

all: (listening)

They can hear very soft voices coming from deeper into the pyramid.

Samus: That must be them. Let's be really quiet and sneak up on them.

all: (being quiet and sneaking up on them)

A door is located at the end of the pyramid hallway, but it is locked. (Of cou-)

Marth: We should break it down.

Link: Alright, on three. One, two, five!

Roy: No!

Link: Three!

Marth, Link, Roy: (kick down the door)

Robber: Oh my god!

Samus: Return those statues to us right now, you're under arrest by federal law! Put your hands behind your head!

Robber: . . . . . . . . . .

Robber's buddy: . . . . . HAHAHAHAHA!

Samus: ...Aw, dang! Where's my suit?

Roy: Listen, pal! We're smashers! And we'll kick your a-

Marth: Surrender immediately and your lives will be spared!

Roy: I give up.

Turns out the robber was a female about their age with long black hair about down to her waist. She had indigo eyes and was wearing a black suit that she'd stolen the statues in. The big dude next to her was her boss, and I know this because he was wearing a nametag that said, "Boss". A large (large, large, very big, huge) bag was in the room also, holding the statues.

Robber: We will not surrender without a fight! (takes the stance of a fighter)

Link: BRING IT ON! (draws sword)

Robber's Boss: Autrya! You can handle these fools! (takes the bag and _draggs_ it out of the room. He was dragging it because of its weight, as well as his own.)  
Roy: I don't think so! (throws sword at bag, causing all the precious statues to fall out)

Robber's Boss: NOOO NOT THE PRECIOUS STATUES!

Autrya: (martial art fighting Link, who has a sword)

Samus: Wow, she's really good! I bet she could be a smasher like us!

Marth: Samus! Help us!

Zelda: Yeah, Samus! Duh!

Samus and Link take on Autrya while Marth and Roy take on the big boss dude, who is a lame-o fighter. The cops and Zelda watch.

Link: (pinning Autrya to a wall) Why did you steal our statues? You must have had a reason!

Autrya: (hesitating)

Link: ANSWER ME!

Autrya: (breaking out in tears and sobs) I'M JUST YOUR BIGGEST FAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

Link: (de-pinning her) What?

all: (stop fighting) WHAT?

Autrya: Let me explain.

all: . . . . . . . . . . .OK!

Autrya: (clearing throat) I...am the biggest fan of all the smashers in the whole world! I stole the statues of you because I wanted them for myself, because I practically worship you guys! And Roy just happens to be my favorite.

Roy: Ha.

Marth: Shut up.

Link: Go on.

Autrya: That's it.

Link: . . . . . . . . . .

Samus: Then how did you come to be such a great fighter?

Autrya: I fight with such great skill in the martial arts because I have always dreamed of becoming a smasher like you guys. I knew it would never happen, but-

Suddenly, the pyramid begins to shake. Then it ceases.

Autrya: And I live in this rundown old ruin that's about 200 years old. I'm looking for a new home, but (sniff sniff) no one will take me!

Roy: Aww, that's so sad!

Autrya: Now I live here with my boss and my pet. (whistles)

Ikki Ikki: Mew! (jumps into Autrya's arms)

Zelda: That's so sad! Won't you please come live with us? We can teach you how to become a smasher!

Samus: I'm sure everyone at the mansion will love you!

Autrya: You are too kind! I'm going to take my pet with me, is that alright?

Zelda: That's great! You can even keep the statues!

Cop #1: Uuuh. . . . .

Cop #2: Since when?

Zelda: Alright, let's go!

Samus: Yeah! (leaves with Autyra and Zelda)

Cop #1: . . . . .Alright Boss dude, you're free to go.

Boss: (ditches)

Marth: Who agreed that she could move in with us? I mean, we don't have a room for her!

Link: Yeah, and what will Master Hand say?

Roy: Not only that, but we have to make all these changes to make her feel at home! We have to practice with her...

Link: We'll have to talk to her...

Marth: And she'll have to share someone's room!

Roy: Is that all you care about?

Link: Let's go, this place is starting to smell bad.

Back at the mansion

Master Hand: Another smasher? That's wonderful news!

Link: . . . . . .

Master Hand: Why, she can share Marth's room! He has the most space anyway!

Marth: . . . . . .

Master Hand: So, let's all make Autrya feel welcome!

Roy: . . . . . . .

all: Welcome, Autrya!

Autrya: Thanks so much you guys! I love you all, this is a dream come true for me! (goes into Marth's room)

They all went to bed after that (lazy slackers). The next morning, Marth, Roy, and Link were all sparring in the Hyrule Castle stage.

Roy: Still, it makes me mad that she's here. She's gonna soak up all the attention, and she's MY fan!

Marth: Yeah, she probably isn't even that good a fighter. She can become a smasher in her dreams!

Link: True, plus if she's such a fan, then why is she making us do all this crap for her? She should be helping us!

Marth: That too, and- (dodging bomb) why did she have to take _my_ room? I'm not even a girl! She could've taken Zelda's!

Roy and Link: Exactly!

Roy: I hope she doesn't bother us, she'll be a nuisance, and we won't be able to be stupid and random anymore. (gets countered by Marth) Ouch.

Marth: I know what you mean. (gets torched by Roy)

Link: Yeah, and- (gets freezied)

Marth: ...nice one.

Roy: Yeah, he was getting on my nerves.

Someone enters the stage.

Autrya: Hey guys! Mind if I practice with you?

Marth: Um, actually, Link just got freezied, I have to go shopping, and Roy has to...stay here until Link thaws! Bye! (disappears)

Roy: No, Marth! (turns cautiously to Autrya) Hi.

Autrya: You hate me, don't you? I heard you talking about me before I got here! (sobs)  
Roy: No! We were talking about...Zelda!

Autrya: Really? Oh my god, I'm so telling her you said that! (disappears)

Roy: Wait, come back you stupid- ARGH!

Link: I didn't know you were a pirate.

Roy: Oh, are you thawed out yet?

Link: Eh, my top half is.

Roy: Ok. So you still can't move. Well, what are we going to do about her? I find her suspicious...

Link: I agree. I wonder how long she's gonna stay here. Hopefully Master Hand is giving her the "stay here until you find somewhere else" lecture.

Roy: Hope so. (chipping at ice) How about we try to kill her?

Link: Hm...tempting...very tempting. But Master Hand would know it was us.

Roy: How? I'll ask Marth. He'll probably want to. Later! (disappears)

Link: No! Come back! Don't leave me here! (looking at ice)

Link: This suuuuuucks! Come back and get me!

Link: (sigh)

Link: (struggling)

Link: (sitting)

Link: ARGH! (struggling more)

Link: (sitting again) Gettin' kinda hungry...

Link: 99 bottles of beer on the wall...

Link: 64 bottles of beer on the wall...

Link: 10 bottles of beer on the wall...

Link: -32 bottles of- SOMEONE COME HELP ME! Doesn't anyone use this stage anymore?

Link: NAAAAVI! EPONA! SOMEBODY!

Link: (sleeping)

The next morning

Marth: (yaaaaaaawn)

Autrya: GOOD MORNING!

Marth: AAH!

Autrya: Don't be startled, it's only me! Hey, can you help me with something?

Marth: Uuuh?

Autrya: Well, I was hoping to ask Roy out but I'm afraid to. Could you do it for me?

Marth: (still half asleep) Oh, uh-huh, sure...

Autrya: Yay! Thank you! You're a doll! (leaves)

Marth: Wha-?

In the kitchen

Master Hand: Good morning, Autrya!

Autrya: Good morning sir!

Roy: suck up.

Autrya: And how are you this fine morning, Roy?

Roy: I'm alright, can't help but think I forgot something though...

Back in Hyrule Castle

Link: Heeeeeeeeeelp! How long does it take this stuff to thaw?

Back in the kitchen

Roy: Probably nothing though.

Samus: How did everyone sleep?

Autrya: I slept so well! That bed of Marth's sure is comfy!

Roy: Whoa! You slept with Marth?

Autrya: Hahahahaha! No silly! I slept in his bed! He slept on the floor!

In Marth's room

Marth: Dang! I knew something wasn't right...(leaves for the kitchen)

In the kitchen

Roy: Well wasn't that nice of him...?

Marth: Hey Roy, where's Link?

Roy: OH NO! (dashes off)

Marth: ...Hm.

Peach: Ah! I feel much better now that that sedative has worn off! I'll try not to freak out anymore.

Samus: Ok, thank you! It helps when you don't spaz.

Peach: Anyone want to practice with me this morning?

Autrya: Oh! I do! I haven't practiced with anyone yet!

Peach: Let's go!

Autrya: Yeah!

Samus: . . . . .

Marth: They're perfect for each other.

Link: MARTH HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT ME?

Marth: Hey, it's Roy's fault too!

Roy: Hehehehe. Golly, I hope we get to be random again sometime soon. I don't liket his new girl at all...

Wow, was that lack-luster or what? Not funny at all! But I had to get through her introduction. Next chapter will be better I promise. So, who is this mysterious new girl? Why is she so annoying? Why does Roy hate her so much? Why did it take so long for that freezie to melt? Will the smasher's ever get to be random again? Is this new girl friend of foe? What ever became of the boss dude? Will the story title ever change? Will Link ever get a new body double? Will I get a lot of reviews? I expect every one of these questions answered! Now get outta here! I mean review! Blahhargahahgbalbh! Not to mention I didn't use any profanity! Must be in a good mood.Oh, and next is

**chapter 9**


	9. Bad Plans and Errands

Oh thank you all so much for reviewing! You are too kind! Well, when we left off, Autrya, the new girl, left to go practice with Peach. The others are just slacking as usual. Read and Review please. I'm doing a good job with my updates! Plus the weekend is coming up, and I don't have a whole lot of homework, so...be expecting a few new chapters, I've got some planned out. But for now, on with the show!

**Nakoya's Disclaimer: **I do not own SSBM, but I own Autrya! Which is a bad thing, she can get pretty annoying...

**Chapter dedicated to: **Penguin God, for reviewing every one of my chapters in a row. That takes some serious skill...and I'll try to dedicate a chapter to each of my reviewers at least once.

**Chapter Nine - Bad Plans and Errands**

In the kitchen: Marth, Master Hand, Roy, Samus, Link

Roy: Nope, I don't like this new girl one bit.

Link: Shut up, we get it.

Roy: why is everyone so mean to me...?

Autrya: (re-entering the room) Well, Peach has offered to take me shopping with her, Zelda, and Samus!

Samus: Say wha-?

Autrya: Oh, and Pichu.

Master Hand: 'Kay, see ya. (reading the newspaper with invisible eyes)

Autrya: (to Marth) don't forget!

Marth: Forget what?

Autrya: (quietly) To ask him out. (nodds to Roy) I'm counting on you. (leaves)

Marth: What? (confused...)

Samus: Well, I guess I'd better go shopping. Sure don't remember agreeing to this...

Master Hand: 'Kay, bye.

Samus: . . . . . .Soooo loooon-

Link: LEAVE ALREADY!

Samus: (crying way out the door)

Link: Hm, well I guess we can be "random" again now that Autrya's gone...

Marth: (thinking) _Hm, what did Autrya mean by "ask him out"? Did she mean Roy? Why would I ask him out?_

Roy: Hey, Marth. You ok?

Marth: (thinking) _For some reason, I vaguely remember her telling me something this morning..._

Roy: Maaaarth?

Marth: (thinking) _But I can't remem- Hey, this is cool. The font gets all italisied when I think..._

Link: Earth to Marth...

Marth: (thinking) _Oh, back on track. So...did she want me to ask him out? For her maybe? Maybe I should ask him out for her. That's what I remember. Though it doesn't make sense, why would she want me to ask him out? _

Link: Roy, get the sledge hammer.

Marth: NONO! I'm ok now!

Roy: Damn...

Marth: Uh, let's see...

Link: Well, come on guys! Let's be "random"! That's what we've been waiting for!

Marth: Um, ahem. (thinking) _For Autrya!_ (saying) Roy, will you go out with me?

Link: Whoa! I meant random, but I didn't mean _that _random!

Roy: What the hell are you talking about?

Marth: Autrya asked me to ask you out, and I did. For her.

Link: . . . . . . .

Roy: . . . . . . .

Link: Oh! Ha! I get it! She didn't mean you should ask him out and do it for her sake, she meant ask Roy to go out with her! Hahaha!

Roy: Oh, she wants to go out with me?

Marth: Alright, duh. That makes a lot more sense. Sorry dude.

Roy: . . . . .

Marth: . . . . . .

Roy: . . . .Do _you _wanna go out wi-

Marth: Don't push it.

Roy: Hm, alright...uh...(looks at Link)

Link: (looks at Roy, lightbulbs, nods)

Roy: Alright, I'll go out with you, I mean her!

Marth: Ok, good. I'll tell her. (leaves)

Roy: Ok, what's your brilliant idea that just got me a date with some freak?

Link: We'd better go somewhere else. (leaves for bedroom)

Roy: (sighs and follows)

In the bedroom (gee, who'da thought)

Link: Alright, listen up. You go out with her and play along and blah blah, then, you can kill her!

Roy: What? That's wrong! That's inhuman! That's...that's fucking brilliant!

Link: That way, she won't be around here anymore, won't soak up attention, and won't become a smasher!

Roy: But I'll get caught!

Link: No, that's where you're wrong. Kill her outside, then just go inside the building where you're dating. Change clothes, and flee the scene or call the cops. No one will ever know.

Roy: How do I kill her?

Link: With this. (holds out shiny new dagger)

Roy: ...Where'd you get that?

Link: Uh, Dense Forest gave it to me. I said I'd cut him down if he didn't.

**Flashback:**

Link: Oooh, what's that?

Dense Forest: Something my great grandfather stole, I mean made! Made...

Link: Can I see it?

Dense: Well, it is rather important...

Link: (draws sword) Hand it over or Daft over there's gettin' it.

Daft: No! Dense! Do it for me! Do it for your people! Hand him the dagger!

Dense: Oh...alright, for my people!

Forest: (cheers)

Link: (takes dagger) Thanks. (cuts down Daft on the way out)

Daft: NOOOO! I knew I shouldn't have trusted him!

Dense: . . . .Hey, wanna hear a "if a tree falls down in a forest joke"?

Daft: Oh, not that one again you old-

**End of Flashback:**

Link: Yeah, it's a real important dagger, so make sure you don't, like, miss or something.

Roy: Alright. I'll do it.

Ness: (walking by the bedroom outside, listening in on conversation)

Roy: I'll schedule our date for...tomorrow night. I hope that's long enough.

Link: Sounds great. It'll go smoothly, trust me.

Roy: Yeah, this was a good idea. Then again, you always have good ideas.

Link: I guess so, but remember to keep this a secret. We don't want anyone to find out.

Roy: You're right, we should keep it quiet, becuase if anyone were to find out...

Ness: (dashing off to tell someone laughing and sprinting blindly)

Ness: (hits a wall, dusts self off, resumes laughing and running)

Link: (stepping out of room) What was that?

Roy: Crap! I hope someone didn't hear us! Then we're just plain screwed.

Link: Oh, look. A shoe? . . . . . . .Ness!

Back in the kitchen

Marth: (playing "Quarters" with Falco) Ouch!

Falco: (gets hit) Hehehe.

Marth: Oh, that's no fair, you haven't got any knuckles!

Falco: I thought you'd never find out.

Ness: (enters room) Hey, guess what?

Mario: What?

Ness: I heard Link and Roy talking about-

Ganondorf: (entering room) Whoa, what's wrong with your head?

Ness: Shut up. Link and Roy were-

Kirby: (enters room) Hey guys!

Ness: Hey Kirby, shut it. They were discussing-

Pikachu: (enters room) What's for lunch today?

Ness: QUIET! Link and Roy were-

Link: (appearing eerily behind Ness with an evil expression on face, ready to pulverize Ness) We were what?

Ness: . . . . . . . . . Oh nothin'.

Link: Thought so.

Master Hand: (enters room) Ah, the perfect crew! I need you all to do something for me!

Falco: (dashes off into other room)

Ganondorf: If it is clean the toliets forget it I am not doing that one more time!

MH: (laughs) It's not.

Mario: What is it?

MH: I need you all to run some important errands for me. They are on this list. Please hurry and I'll see you when you get back. (flicks them all out the door into the SMASH VAN BABY!)

Marth: Ew, this van needs a new paint job.

Pikachu: Looks like the Mystery van on Scooby Doo.

Link: Yeah, we should at least get rid of the "baby", that's just too much.

Ganondorf: Everyone, get up. We've got errands to run.

Mario: (dusting self off) First thing on the list, pick up Yoshi's medicine. Yoshi has medicine?

Pikachu: Ha! I knew it!

Marth: Let's go already! And...that van is ugly!

Link: Ganon, you drive.

Ganondorf: Aw, why me?

Link: Because.

Ganondorf: . . . . . .MEXICAN!

Link: SEAFOOD!

Ness: Not this again! (thinking) _KFC, KFC..._

Mario: Let's go already.

Marth: That's what I said!

Pikachu: Hm, it says to pick his medicine up at the vet. So let's go! Ganondorf, drive!

Ganondorf: You people suck.

Pikachu: (crying) THAT'S A SERIOUS BLOW TO MY SELF-ESTEEM!

Ganondorf: Sheesh, little baby. (drives off to town)

Meanwhile...in the mall...

Zelda: Uh, Peach?

Peach: Be quiet Zelda! We've only been here a few minutes.

Zelda: (sigh) Do you remember agreeing to this, Samus?

Samus: Very vaguely...

**Flashback**

Peach: Hey, guys! Wanna go to the mall with me?

Samus: Uhm, no.

Peach: Great! So I'll see ya in 20 minutes!

Zelda: . . . . . .I think the "uhm" threw her off a little. . . .

Samus: Probably.

**End of Flashback**

Zelda: Well, I guess we'll just tough it out.

Autrya: ohmigosh I love this store!

Samus: (SIGH)

Meanwhile, on the road...

Ganondorf: So, where is the vet place?

Marth: god, this vehicle is embarrasing...

Pikachu: (sniff sniff) Uh, it's right around this corner. (sob)

Link: Pull yourself together, emo pansy.

Pikachu: WAAAAAAAA I'M SO DEPRESSED I'M GONNA GO CUT MYSELF JUST CUZ YOU SAID THAT!

Link: Uh, ok. Please do.

Mario: Here we are!

Ness: Finally...

Ganondorf: (entering the room) Hey, can I get a-

Vet: (ducking behind desk) TAKE EVERYTHING AND LEAVE! HERE, TAKE MY MONEY!

Ganondorf: Uhh...

Mario: We just want some medicine.

Vet: EVERYBODY GET DOWN! ROBBERS!

Everybody: (getting down, screaming)

Marth: Looks like we'd better get it ourselves.

They all rummaged through the medicines, until Ness found something.

Ness: Uh, here's something.

Mario: (viewing) Looks like it says "Yoshi", this one outta be it.

Link: This one says Yoshi too.

Pikachu: So does this one.

Marth: This one too.

Ganondorf: We were looking for "Yoshi"? I was looking for "Ihsoy".

Link: Why, you idiot?

Ganondorf: I'm dyslexic, leave me alone!

Link: Ok, so which one is our Yoshi's medicine?

Mario: I know how to find out!

Pikachu: Not me!

Mario: No, not testing them. The perfect solution.

Kirby: What?

Mario: (deep breath) eenie meenie miney moe...

Once he was done, they picked the last one left.

Link: So this is it? We don't have very long you guys.

Kirby: Let's just take them all! We don't have to pay, everyone is already on the floor anyway.

Ness: Ok, let's get going!

Mario: Next stop, buy groceries? Didn't we just buy...?

Link: (sigh) What's on the list?

Mario: Milk, cheese, eggs-

Link: Cheese! I bought the whole store's cheese supply! Whoever ate all that really likes cheese!

Kirby: What else?

Mario: Fabric softeners, lightbulbs, needle-nose plyers, canned pimentoes...

Ness: Geez, talk about random...

Mario: condoms...

Link: What the hell?

Mario: tampons...

Marth: This is messed up.

Mario: 2 pounds of asparugus...

Ganondorf: God, did he plan this?

Mario: fish eyes...

Kirby: Oh yeah, he planned this.

Mario: 15 carnations, AA batteries, and warm-on-contact moisturizer. That's it.

Link: Half of that stuff is really unnecessary...

Ness: But what's he gonna say if we only come home with half the stuff?

Ganondorf: Uh, they were out of stock?

Mario: Let's just buy them. Should we split up? There's six of us.

Pikachu: Ahem, seven.

Mario: Right seven. So three groups. Me and Ganondorf will take the milk, cheese, eggs, asparugus, and fish eyes.

Link: I hate you guys.

Ganondorf: Pikachu and Kirby, you can take the needle-nose, lightbulbs, fabric softeners, canned pimentoes, and AA batteries.

Marth: You planned _that_ didn't you?

Pikachu: So that means you two and Ness have to get the tampons, condoms, moisturizer, and carnations. Ha!

Ness: That's cruel. Can I go with Kirby and Pikachu?

Mario: Nope, they've got it handled. Oh, and could you get Peach some shampoo while you're down there by the feminine items? (laughs off)

Pikachu: I'll see you guys later! Let's go Kirby.

Kirby: Where do we find the needle-nose plyers?

Link: . . . . . . . .Well, this stinks.

Marth: We don't have to buy them you know. He probably won't notice.

Ness: Yeah, we can go slack off.

Mario: (calling from across the store) NO YOU CAN'T!

Link: Dammit. We'd better get started.

Meanwhile, back at the mall...

Autrya: Wow, we've been shopping for only 45 minutes? It seems like-

Samus: 4 hours!

Autrya: I was gonna say more like 10 minutes!

Samus: . . . .Of course.

Peach: Why don't we take a break?

Zelda and Samus: YES!

Meanwhile, in the supermarket, which I am lost in...

Ganondorf: Milk, check.

Mario: Cheese, check.

Ganondorf: Eggs, check. Only they're Grade _B_.

Mario: I don't know the difference.

Ganondorf: Next, 2 pounds asparugus. Ugh.

Mario: Why does he need this crap?

Ganondorf: I guess someone in the mansion likes it.

Back at the mansion

Yoshi: Uugh...I hope they hurry with that medicine...

Mewtwo: _I told you, you shouldn't have eaten that asparugus..._

At the supermarket

Kirby: We got the plyers, and the lightbulbs, now what?

Pikachu: We still need...fabric softener, batteries, and pimentoes, whatever the hell those are.

Kirby: I know what they are.

**Flashback**

Kirby: Hm, I'm hungry...(looks through cupboard)

Kirby: Hey! Pimentoes? (eats)

Kirby: (dies)

Bowser: Oh my god! (brings back to life through...magic koopa powers)

Kirby: (burp) Damn, those were pretty good.

**End of Flashback**

Kirby: Let's get a lot of them!

In the non-food items section

Link: I'm not gettin' them, you get them.

Ness: Yeah right, I'm not gettin' them, you.

Link: No, I told you to first, you go get 'em.

Ness: I ain't gettin' them, you go.

Marth: I'll get them, you babies.

Link: BE CAREFUL!

Marth: (approaches the tampon shelf) What's the big deal anyway?

Random family #84329: . . . . . .

Marth: I work here, and a disabled lady requested some.

Random family #84329: (nodds, walks off)

Marth: (returning to the trembling Link and Ness with box of tampons) Piece of cake.

Meanwhile, in the mall...

Samus: (dragging 4 bags of clothes)

Zelda: (dragging 4 different bags of clothes)

Autrya: Let's go here next!

Peach: Ok!

Samus: WE AREN'T PACK-MULES YOU POOP FACES!

Autrya: Oh, Samus! You slay me! Of course you are! Now let's go!

Zelda: . . . . . . You _slay _me. Who says that anymore?

In the grocery department

Mario: Ok, we got the asparugus. Now what? Fish eyes?

Ganondorf: Yep, then we'll be done.

Mario: Ok, let's go get them fish eyes.

Ganondorf: Master Hand eats the weirdest foods...

Mario: Don't remind me. What do you think, trout eyes or bass?

Ganondorf: Mmm, go with the trout.

Mario: Alright. Well. Looks like we're done!

Meanwhile...

Kirby: Ok, we got the pimentoes. Fabric softeners...which do you think? Spring Breeze or Ocean Mist?

Pikachu: Ahem, unlike _Ganondorf_, I don't have a preference.

Kirby: ...Spring Breeze it is. Now the batteries. Here we go. That was easy. We're done! Let's go to the front.

Meanwhile. . . . . . . .. . .. .. .. .. .. . . .. . ... .. ... .. .. . .. ... . .. .. ..

Marth: (sigh) Condoms, flowers, and some stupid lotion. I'm gettin' the flowers.

Link: Fine. Ness, you get the condoms.

Ness: Why do I have to?

Link: Because I'll beat you up if you don't.

Ness: Sheesh...

Link: And how am I supposed to find that lotion? They probably have 20 different brands.

In the garden section

Marth: Carnations. I wonder what those look like.

Supermarket helper #43: Can I help you?

Marth: Yeah, I'm looking for some- AAAAAAH!

I hope that chapter was a little funnier. I found it better. Thanks all for reviewing. Here we go with the usual closing. Oh no! What's wrong with Marth? Who is Supermarket helper #43? Will Ness find the condoms? Will Link find the lotion? Did Mario get the right kind of fish eyes? Are Zelda and Samus going to last in the mall? Is Yoshi gonna live? How many more errands are there? And why is Autrya continuing to be such a spaz? Find out soon, in the next chapter! I won't update unless I get a lot of reviews!

**chapter 10, coming soon to a theater near (or far from) you!**


	10. Dress Rehearsal

So, was that any better? I hope so. Right now, my parents and their buddies are watching our basketball team SUCK and are yelling a lot. So sorry if this chapter has a bad-tempered arua to it. -- I'm going to start a romance story soon and submit it. I also have some un-sumbited documents that I'm going to make into a story here in a bit. I hope you will all read it. Well, not here in a bit, but after I finish this story, it'll come. Maybe even before. The romance one, I don't know about. But the one that I have the documents on, I'm already almost finished with it, but I have to edit it. You'll understand when it comes out. So if you want to read it, that's means this one has to get done first, which means more chapters need to be done, which means more reviews need to be submitted, which means y'all had better get to reviewing or you'll never know anything about these new stories now will you? So let's hop to it! I have a list of stories I need to submit, but I'm doing it one at a time for now. So, here's chapter 10 of my first story. Which hopefully you all know which one that is. (It's the one you're reading right now). Behold, Chapter 10!

**Disclimber: **Ha, disclimber. Don't ask. I don't own SSBM, but I'd think you'd know that by now...

**Chapter dedicated to: **Eternal Smasher, for being pretty much the best SSBM author out there. Well, except maybe for me... (JK!)

**Chapter 10 - Dress Rehearsal**

Marth: AAAHHH!

Supermarket helper #43: Sorry, was it the wig? I knew it was too much... (taking off clown wig)

Marth: (catching breath) Ah, thanks. Much better. Do you know where I can get some carnations?

Supermarket helper #43: How many?

Marth: 15.

Supermarket helper #43: 15 exactly?

Marth: Uh, yeah. 15.

Supermarket helper #43: What about...14?

Marth: No, 15.

Supermarket helper #43: 16?

Marth: Well, I guess I could throw one out, but that'd be a waste. Just give me 15 flowers.

Supermarket helper #43: . . .Can you settle for a 20-pack?

Marth: Just gimme my damn flowers bastard and we'll call it square.

Supermarket helper #43: Ok, here's 15 carnations. Be careful with them. They die easily.

Marth: . . . . .Thanks. . . . . .

Supermarket helper #43: You come back now, ya hear?

Marth: Shut up!

Meanwhile...

Link: Eh, this'll work. (picks some random lotion for you-know-whating) I wonder why the smasher's would need this.

Ness: Alright! I got 'em!

Link: Uh, Ness? Those are lifesavers.

Ness: Wha-?

Link: How can you get those confused with condoms? And how did you get those sold seperately?

Ness: Uh... (looks back at the candy isle, where about 3 bags of lifesavers are open) Magic.

Link: Nice try. Get the right thing this time.

Ness: But, these come in 5 different flavors!

Marth: Aren't you guys done yet?

Link: Uh, I am, but Ness is still- Oh my god, those flowers are dying!

Marth: Huh? (looks at flowers, to see them wilting lower and lower by the second) WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!

all: (dash to the front checkout thing, where the other four are waiting)

Ganondorf: Ness, what's with the candy?

Ness: Shh, pretend their condoms...

Link: . . . .Don't look at me, I didn't make him like this.

The items were purchased and they were sent on to the next task. But first, Marth expertly potted the flowers.

Mario: Next task: mail some letters. Oh yeah, he did _hand _me this sack of letters before he flung us out.

Pikachu: Post office then, Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: Ok, ok. (drives with mad skill and speed to the P.O.)

Link: I'll drop them off, you guys take a break.

Marth: I'm going with you.

Ganondorf: I guess I'll go too. I don't feel like taking a break.

They all enter the post office, carrying a large satchel with about 50 letters in it.

Link: Damn, Master Hand doesn't get out much does he?

Ganondorf: E-mail, phone, text message, instant message, and he chooses letters?

Marth: Not only that, but 50 of them! I bet he wrote some of these last year.

Ganondorf: . . . . . . . .Let's read some!

They picked a few random ones while waiting in line. Link ripped his open first.

Link: This was written two years ago. It says, _"Dear Meredith. How are you? I'm quite alright. My business as a Smasher Trainer has been going quite well. I've recently got some new 'students' to train, one of whom really annoys me to no end. I hate to vent on you, but I feel that I must. You are the only one that will listen to me. This other person's name is Marth. He is not a bad fighter, but he has many bad qualities to him. I have dealt with many horrible fighters in the past, but he is by far the worst. I cannot begin to tell you how awful he is. He always-"_

Marth: Ok, next letter.

Ganondorf: Hm, this one was written yesterday. It reads, _"Dearest Meredith. Why don't you ever reply to my letters I send you? Have I really not visited in so long that you have died without me knowing? That would be a shame, as well as a waste of paper. Then who must be getting these letters? If you were dead, they would be sent back to me. Do you hate me so, that you would-"_

Link: Hey, I know why she doesn't reply! He doesn't send any of the letters! I mean look! (pointing to bulging bag) He keeps them all! How in the world is this "Meredith" supposed to know- Hey! I bet every one of these is to Meredith!

Marth: You're right.

P.O. dude: Next please.

Ganondorf: Here, 50 letters. Please make sure they get to her, it's vitally important.

P.O. dude: I'm sorry, sir. We are going to have to send these all one at a time. You must stay here and sign a paper for each letter you send. Please wait while I get the paper. (leaves temporarily)

Link: . . . . . . . . . . . . What did he just say?

Marth: It'll only take us a minute, be patient.

P.O. dude: Here you are. Please sign this slip and we'll attach it to the letter and send it. It doesn't matter who signs.

Link: Alright, let's do this! (signs first letter) Ha! This is easy!

Ganondorf: Let me try. (signs second) I could do this forever.

By letter 14...

Link: Still not feeling it!

By letter 26

Ganondorf: Nothing yet...

By letter 41

Marth: Hm, this is irritating...

By letter 60

Link: Heh, I guess our calculations were off a little...

By letter 77

Ganondorf: Patience is of the essence...

By letter 105

Marth: AGH! JUST SEND THE FUCKING LETTERS! I'M NOT SIGNING ANYMORE!

P.O. dude: Please, ma'am. Remain calm. You only have 25 more letters to go.

Marth: Oh, that's a relie- What did you just call me?

Ganondorf: Why don't you go get some air, Marth? You look...ready to beat someone up.

Marth: (fuming out the door)

Link: . . . . . . Well! We'd better get to signing!

Mario: Hey, there's Marth! Are you guys done yet?

Marth: I AM NOT A GIRL!

Pikachu: . . . . . . . We're sorry! We didn't know!

Ness: I don't think that was the best answer.

Kirby: There's the other two, let's go already.

Pikachu: Next errand: deliver borrowed items to Crazy Hand. Hm, I was wondering what all that furniture was doing in the back.

Marth: (recovering) Seriously, who borrows _furniture_ from their brother and _returns _it?

Ganondorf: That's not the point. Let's go to Crazy's. (drives to Crazy's)

Mario: (ringing Crazy's doorbell)

Crazy Hand: Hello? Who are you?

Pikachu: We work for your brother and we were sent to return some furniture and stuff.

Kirby: You've probably been missing it for a while now.

C.H: A'right, just bring it all in. You guys can even stay for a while if you like.

Ness: We're actually a little short on time, so we'll make this snappy.

(In a snap)

C.H: Wow, thanks you guys! Tell your master I said hi.

Link: Will do, 'kay bye.

Ganondorf: (drives off) Next stop, OMG!

Ness: What?

Ganondorf: "BUY NICE CLOTHES FOR THE INTERVIEWS!"

Marth: Shit! I forgot all about those!

Kirby: Those were in like chapter 1!

Mario: There's a note attached. "The girls have requested nice dresses, so please buy some for them. I'll give you the money later."

Link: The girls? Why do we have to do stuff for them?

Pikachu: And worse yet, Autrya's on this list!

Marth: WHAT? She's only been here a little while!

Ganondorf: (pulling into dress place) Well, this'll look just silly. We're all guys walking into a dress store.

Ness: Who's gonna pick them out?

They walk into the store to realize it is mostly barren. Peoplewise.

Link: Or another thing, what size are they?

Kirby: They're all about Marth's size aren't they?

Marth: Yeah, I guess...

Mario: Perfect! He could try them on! Then we'll know if they fit!

all except Marth: YEAH!

Marth: NO! BAD!

Ganondorf: Come on, Marth! For their sake!

Marth: You've got to be kidding me!

They all beg and plead him until he very reluctantly agrees

all: YAY! I mean, this will be good...for the dresses..and the girls...

Meanwhile, the girls themselves...

Samus: Can't we take a break? We've been shopping forever!

Zelda: Seriously!

Peach: Alright, I guess we outta head back. Let's go, Autrya!

Autrya: Ok! I like shopping with you guys! In fact, I like you guys! You're awesome!

Samus: yeah yeah...

But, back at the dress place...

Ness: How about this one?

Marth: NO WAY AM I TRYING THAT ONE ON!

Link: Alright, then it's perfect! (giving to Marth)

Marth: You guys are cruel, you know that?

Kirby: Just hurry up and try it on!

Marth: (sighs and enters the dressing room)

Marth: (from inside the dressing room) It fits! We shall buy it!

Ness: I don't think so! We'll have to see it!

Marth: I doubt that! I know if it fits or not!

Ganondorf: Well we wanna make sure!

Marth: Well I don't want you to make sure!

Link: Oh, just come out!

Marth: . . . . .Alright, but I'm warning you! You're gonna regret this! (emerges wearing, well, a dress)

all: (cracking up insanely)

Marth: (waiting patiently)

all: (continuing to laugh into vision begins to fade and hearing recedes)

Meanwhile, back at the mansion...

Autrya: We're baaaack!

Peach: We bought a lot of clothes! Where is everyone?

MH: Errands.

Samus: AUGH! I'm going to sleep!

Zelda: Me too, I'm beat!

Back at the dress place...

all: (still laughing)

Marth: (tapping fingers on table) You guys done yet?

all: (quieting laughter) Yeah.

Ganondorf: Ok, it fits. Go try on another. We need, like what? Four?

Pikachu: I don't know, but they should shop for their own dresses.

Link: Didn't they just go to the mall anyway?

Mario: Who cares? Those carnations are dying as we speak! Water is not enough to preserve their lives!

Marth: Ok, give me another _dress _and we can get done faster.

Kirby: (still laughing a little) Yeah, you're right. We've been out for hours. I hope they aren't worried about us.

They finished trying on dresses and laughing at Marth and were soon on the way back home.

At the mansion. 5:00 p.m.

Link: Whoo! We made it back!

Pikachu: We took care of all your errands, Master Hand.

MH: Well done. I appreciate it. Oh, and I need to hold a council in the...council room. So recruit everyone you can and let's go.

Soon, they were all in the council room. Just like magic.

MH: I would just like to remind everyone that we have interviews coming up, starting probably either tomorrow night or the day after tomorrow. That will give you plenty of time for preparation. I expect you all do wear decent clothing, be on your best behavior, and give honest, sincere answers. If not, I'll kick you off the team. This is an important part of your career.

Autrya: Did you buy our dresses yet?

Marth: (sigh)

Link: Yes, we did.

MH: Why don't you go look at them now? Then we'll eat dinner and you can try them on tomorrow morning.

In the living room

Peach: Oh, wow! These dresses are so pretty! They must have cost a forture!

Autrya: These are so beautiful! And it looks like they'll fit me perfectly! Thanks so much you guys! You have excellent taste!

Zelda: I sure hope they fit, and they look like they will.

Marth: yeah i hope so too...

Pikachu: Well, I'm hungry! Let's eat!

Ok, end of chapter 10. Just a tad shorter than the usual, but hey. It's just gotta be that way. Ok, so it was quite a bit shorter. I guess I'll make it all up down here. Um, how will the interviews go? How will Autrya's and Roy's date go? Who is Meredith that Master Hand was writing to? How much did the dresses cost? (Who cares) How will Nakoya's new romance story turn out? How will the one that needs to be edited turn out? Will these stories all be successful? Will she get a lot of reviews and update very soon? Find out in

**chapter 11**

some of the questions may not be answered in this chapter


	11. Radio Date

Ha, a lot of people are saying the dress thing was cruel. But hey! Someone had to do it! Marth's pride hasn't been crushed yet!

**Da Disclaimer: **I don't own Super Smash Brothers Melee. And if you didn't already know that, WHAT ARE YOU DOING STARTING AT CHATPER 11?

**Chapter dedicated to: **Blazing Fool, for giving me the power of Over-B.

**Chapter Eleven - Radio Date**

The next morning, it was decided they would try to get all their interview stuff overwith, like trying on dresses and stuff. In the dressing room is Peach, Marth, Link, Autrya, Zelda, and Samus. Don't ask why Marth and Link are in there. .

Peach: I like this one, don't you think it's a good color for me, Marth?

Marth: Why the hell are you asking me?

Autrya: Yes, it's a lovely color for you!

Marth: And why are you still here?

Autrya: Speaking of me, that reminds me! I have that date with Roy tonight!

Link: How did you find out that he said yes?

Marth: Uh, I told her. Duh.

Link: Oh yeah, then how did you find out when?

Autrya: (shrugs) Magic.

Samus: You know, I didn't request a dress. But you did already pay for it, so...

Zelda: These are just interviews. I don't know what the big fancy deal is.

Peach: Well, these dresses aren't exactly _fancy, _they're just better than casual.

Autrya: Yeah, that's true. So, what do you guys think? (weaing a...dress)

Peach: Ohmigosh that looks so cute on you! You should wear that on your date!

Autrya: Hm, you're right! I have another one I can wear for the interviews anyway!

Zelda: So you didn't even need one?

Autrya: Uh, no?

MH: (entering room) Well, how is everything?

Samus: Um, it's all great. When are these again?

MH: Well, since Roy and Autrya are going out, they'll start tomorrow morning.

Link: How does everyone know about this?

MH: So I guess I'll see you later. (leaves the room)

Ness: (entering as MH leaves) Wow! These interviews are gonna be so cool! (leaves)

Link: . . . . . .little freak.

Marth: I guess we should be going. (looking at Link)

Link: ...Oh, yeah. _That. _See you guys later. (leaves with Marth)

They went down the hall and entered Roy's room, where he was still asleep.

Marth: Ok, so how does this weird thing work? And why is it in his room?

Link: Silence. Wait until Roy wakes up and then I'll explain.

Marth: . . . . . . . . . . .Ok, tired of waiting. (kicks Roy) Wake up.

Roy: You don't have to kick me. . . .AGH WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?

Link: Oh good, he's up. Ok, this is a walkie talkie. So when you are on your date, Marth close the door.

Marth: (closes door)

Link: So when you're on your date, we can talk to you. You'll put this radio in your ear and we'll tell you what to do.

Roy: Wait, how does this work?

Link: We've all seen the movies, just bear with me. You can talk and we'll hear everything you say and everything she says if she's close enough. This way we can tell you when to stab her, what to say, where to go, and after you stab her, what to do.

Roy: Uh, ok. Man, this is making me nervous.

Marth: Yeah, I hope this works. It's not easy to stab someone on a date...

**Flashback**

Sheeda: Oh, wow Marth! This is so romantic!

Marth: Sure.

Sheeda: Isn't this just wonderful! I love you Marth!

Marth: Uhmm...

Sheeda: I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with you! (clinging to Marth)

Marth: Yeah, about that...(quickly stabs Sheeda with Falchion)

Sheeda: (falls off balcony into bushes below)

Marth: ...Glad that's overwith.

**End of Flashback**

Link: That didn't sound very hard at all. Besides, she was a bi-

Roy: So is Autrya, which is why this should be easy. She's weird anyway, she doesn't deserve to live.

Autrya: Who are you talking about?

Marth: How long have you been here?

Autrya: Not very long, the door was open.

Link: (glaring at Marth)

Marth: I coulda sworn...

Roy: Well, we're having a top secret conversation so GO AWAY.

Autrya: (runs out the door)

Roy: Sheesh...ok, so you're gonna give me all the information I need. And I just have to do what you say?

Link: Yeah, let's try it out. (handing earpiece to Roy)

Roy: Ok...I'm ready. (leaving for another room)

Link: Alright, here we go. (into the walkie-talkie) HEY ROY CAN YOU HEAR ME!

Downstairs, the sound of screaming is heard, followed by a thud.

Link: Yup, it works.

Marth: (going carefully downstairs)

Later that afternoon...

Ness: THE MAIL'S HERE THE MAIL'S HERE THE MAIL'S HERE THE MAIL-

Link: Looks like someone had Coke again.

Ganondorf: I thought it was Sunday?

All Mario characters leave to go play tennis, along with all the people who can't talk. (Had to get rid of a few)

DK: What's in the mail today? Hm, bills, bills, chills, thrills, spills, kills, here's something for Master Hand, pills...

Master Hand: (opening letter) Meredith? She wasn't supposed to get any of the letters I sent her.

Meredith: _"Dear Master Hand, It was nice to hear from you again, though your letters were very strange. I recieved 130 of them in the mail today, and they were all signed by three different people. I don't understand, nor did I get the chance to read them all. But I thought I'd reply to you just so you know that I got them. So, I'm glad to hear your training career is going well, and I hope to see you again really soon. I haven't heard from your brother, is he doing alright? Crazy always has been a bit antisocial. I'm sorry about any hardships you've been facing, but it'll be alright. Maybe I'll see you sometime. I am on vacation on an island right now, but I might be coming home soon. I suppose you could pay me a visit someday. Oh, I've got to go. But one last question: Why were some of the letters date back to 4 years ago? Love always, Meredith."_

Kirby: Aw, how sweet!

Master Hand: YOU READ THAT!

Marth: (taking letter and reading it) Yeah, these we the letters we sent to her yesterday, that you told us to-

Master Hand: What? I never told you to send those! Those letters were supposed to be saved, never meant to be sent.

Ganondorf: That's what we thought at first, but we mailed them anyway, because that's what you gave us.

Master Hand: Oh, no! I gave you the wrong bag! You were supposed to mail these! (About 3 letters)

Link: How can you get those confused with a bag of 130?

Master Hand: This is horrible! Oh, I guess I'll just stop writing to her.

Roy: (after recovering) Who is she anyway?

Master Hand: An old friend of mine and Crazy's.

Samus: Is she your girlfriend?

Master Hand: Please, we're hands. We don't do that kinda stuff.

Fox: Well, this is off-topic, but who will be-

MH: No time for off-topic questions. I need to ask something more off-topic! Did you get all the groceries?

Link: Uh...

Pikachu: Oh, yeah. That. Well, except for one.

Ness: Heheheheheheheheh.

Marth: But we got most of them. The only thing we forgot was the most useless thing in the world.

Ganondorf: Amen.

MH: Well, as long as you got the flowers I guess it's alright. (leaves)

Marth: Oh whoops I left those in the van. Be right back.

Marth goes out to the vehicle to find the potted flowers barely alive and wilting severely. He brings them inside and waters them a lot.

Autrya: Wow! Those are so pretty! Did you buy them for me?

Marth: What?

Autrya: (takes flower pot) They're so beautiful, even if they are wilting. Thanks! (goes off to her room)

Link: . . . . . . . . . .Well GEEZ just take other people's flowers why don'tcha!

MH: (comes back) Where are the flowers anyway?

Marth: Autrya took them. She thought they were for her.

MH: Oh, they were. (leaves)

Link: ...Now she's thinks you got them for her, but they were supposed to be from Master Hand.

Marth: Yeah. Damn, why did I volunteer to get the flowers?

That evening...

Roy: Ok, ok. I'm almost ready.

Link: (Into walkie-talkie)ARE YOU SURE THIS THING WORKS?

Roy: OW! YES I'm very sure. Now stop it!

Marth: I hope we can pull this off.

Autrya: Pull what off?

Link: WILL YOU GO AWAY!

Autrya: (angrily) Well, ok! (goes away)

Link: (sighs) When you stab her, make sure you get her _right in the heart._

MH: Are you ready yet?

Roy: Almost! gosh people leave me alone...

Soon, Roy, Link, and Marth were downstairs. Link was talking to Zelda, Marth was fixing Roy's hair, and Roy was waiting for Autrya. Master Hand was there too.

Roy: Marth! There's no point in trying to fix it, it just _does_ that!

Marth: Well, it looks _bad_!

MH: There's Autrya.

Autrya came downstairs wearing her new dress, which was black and silk. Her black hair was put up in a bun and her makeup was perfect. She wore one of those scarf things that goes behind you and rests on your arms. She looked like she was going to a prom.

Autrya: Alright, I'm ready.

Marth: (quietly) Don't fall for it Roy, it's a trap!

Roy: Don't worry about me, I'm ready to do this.

Link: Ok, it's all you. We're gonna stay in your room while you do this, and make sure you have _everything._

Roy: (checking under coat for the dagger, which was still there) Got it.

They left on their way merrily. The taxi dude dropped them off at some fancy resteraunt.

Ganondorf: 'Kay bye you guys!

Roy: Bye taxi dude, I mean-

Ganondorf: (drives off)

Roy: (thinking) _Great. Now I'm stuck here with her for about two hours. I guess I should start off casual and stab her when she least expects it._

Autrya: Ok, let's go already! (dragging Roy into the resteraunt)

Roy: What? Café Aquae again? I'm gonna kill Ganondorf that bloody-

Waiter #1: How many?

Autrya: Two.

Waiter #1: Smoking or non?

Roy: Smoking.

Autrya: Non.

Waiter #1: (thinking) _No, not again! _(saying) Um...well...smoking it is!

They took their seats, got their menus and had peace for a while.

Link: _Ok, after you guys eat, or before, whichever, there's a balcony all the way to your right. That's where you need to stab her._

Roy: Got it.

Autrya: Well, that was fast. What are you having?

Roy: Uh, the #57. That's what I got last time.

Marth: _YOU MORON!_

Autrya: Hm, I'll have to try that too.

Link: _So, start off casual. You don't want to seem suspicious straight off._

Roy: (quietly) Well what am I supposed to say?

Link: _Uh, I don't know! I've never been on a date before!_

Marth: _You've never been on a date before? Ha!_

Roy: Guys! What am I supposed to say!

Marth: (_To Link) Have you ever done it before then?_

Roy: (To Autrya) Have you ever d-

Link:_ (To Roy and Marth) NO! And abstinence is good!_

Marth: _Hahaha! You make me laugh!_

Autrya: What was that Roy?

Roy: Uh, nothing. It was a dumb question.

Autrya: Ok, well, I took our orders.

Roy: Alright, good.

Link: _(To Marth) Oh, right. And you've done it before?_

Marth: _As a matter of fact, I have. _

Roy: (sigh) Will you excuse me for just a second? (leaves for the bathroom)

Autrya: Uh, sure...(thinking) _Geez, some date this is._

Roy: GUYS! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NO HELP!

Link: _Oh yeah. Sorry. I forgot about it._

Marth: _What do you need help on again?_

Roy: (loud sigh) Casual talk!

Link: _Right, right. Um, ask her what her favorite song is._

Marth: _Or talk about the weather._

Link: _Naw, that's a little to casual._

Roy: Fine, just don't abandon me again. This is ridiculous. (leaves back for table)

Autrya: There you are.

Roy: Yeah, sorry about that.

Autrya: It's alright. So, do you like being a smasher?

Roy: Yeah, sure. It's great. There's a lot of cool things we do, no wonder you want to be one.

Autrya: Yeah, I've wanted to be ever since I was little. But I didn't have a whole lot of special things about me, so I just practiced marital arts a lot. Then I realized I liked fighting so much it didn't matter if I became one.

Roy: Hm, that's cool. But being a smasher really is an honor. You're lucky you get to be one.

Autrya: So are you!

Roy: Oh, look there's our food...

The classic meal of (beepbeepbeepbeeeepbeep) was served.

At the house, Marth faints.

Roy: Ugh...I mean...yeah, ugh.

Autrya: And you say you've had this before?

Roy: No, I was just kidding. But I know someone who has.

The night went by slowly and soon they were at the balcony. They had talked a lot (didn't eat their food) and realized they had a lot in common.

Autrya: Yeah, I really don't like Marth at all.

Roy: Me neither. Wow, we have a lot in common.

Link: (looking over at Marth) Good thing he was out for that one.

Autrya: Well, this date has been really good. I enjoyed it.

Roy: So did I. We should do this again sometime.

Link: _Ok, Roy. Drop the act. Time to get serious. Draw your dagger._

Roy: (hesitating) So, are you gonna stay a smasher forever?

Autrya: I don't know. I really like it, but I don't feel welcome.

Roy: Sorry, we try to make you as welcome as we can. It's Ganondorf isn't it?

Autrya: (laughs) No, not like that. I just mean, I feel like I should be somewhere else. Maybe back at home.

Link: _Roy! The dagger! Don't make me go and do it myself! Just because Marth fainted doesn't mean you can't listen to me!_

Roy: (ignoring) Yeah, I know what you mean. I didn't feel comfortable at first either. Well, until I met Marth.

Autrya: Do you like him?

Roy: He was just the first friend I made there, so he helped me get along with everyone. But right now, he's kinda different than he was back then. That's why I said I didn't like him that much.

Autrya: (scratching head nervously) Hehe, I guess you're right. Maybe once I make some more friends I'll be more likely to stay.

Link: _ROY YOU DO-DO MORON DIPFACE PIECE OF CRAP! STAB HER!_

Roy: (reaches reluctantly for the dagger in his jacket and quickly hides it behind him)

Autrya: (reaches into her hair and pulls out a dagger, quickly hiding it behind her)

. . . . . . . . .'Nuff said. Looks like a conflict has come about. Don't expect any rush on chapter twelve. I just updated 3 chapters in a row just about. You should be thankful for that. And my reviewing is going a little better. I want more though! More power! So ok, what's with the dagger Autrya has? What does she plan to do with it? Were her plans the same as Roy's the whole time? Will they both kill each other at the same time? Will Marth be ok? Will Link pulverize Roy for taking so long? Is Meredith enjoying her vacation? Is Master Hand going to do anything about this? Why would Autrya have a dagger to begin with? And why would she want to kill Roy, who she is a #1 fan of? Does she perhaps like someone else? Does she really hate Roy? Is everything a lie? Did she decieve them? Or did she really want to become a smasher? All questions, except maybe the Meredith one, answered in

**chapter 12**


	12. Secrets and DOOM!

Yep, cliffie. I know. Here's the last chapter, that you have all been on the edge of your seats, waiting for. Ha just kidding. Here's your chapter though. Yes, this is the final finale thing, last chapter. Sorry I couldn't get around to giving you all a chapter. But you know I'm thinking of you! Please give me lots of reviews! This is, after all, the last chapter of my first story. And if you don't leave me lots of reviews, leave me long ones. Those are just as good. Please enjoy, behold, read and reviews Chapter 12! The last thing that happened was the dagger part. And if you aren't to sharp with riddles, read the names on the interviewers backwards. Please?

**Disclaimer of Mine: **I don't own Super Smash Brothers Melee nor any of the characters. But I own the story. And the game.

**Chapter dedicated to: **Yureidoru, for speaking up about what I was doing wrong. Thanks. -

**Chapter Twelve - Secrets...and DOOM!**

Roy fingered the dagger hiding behind his back, his palms sweating for nervousness. Link was yelling commands at him on what to do and when to do it. Autrya was experiencing the same kind of stress, but for reasons unknown.

Link: _Come on Roy, pull yourself together! She's evil!_

Autyra: (thinking) _Come on, Autrya. Get it together! This is your job, this is what Boss wants._

Roy: (thinking) _Ok, here I go._

Autrya: _Here goes nothing!_

They both pull their daggers forward but they can't be seen by each other when...

Waiter: Your bill. (hands them a paper)

Roy: (sweating bullets) Thanks.

Link: ..._Alright, ignore him! Stabstabstabstabstab-_

Roy: _I can't do this. _(walks over to edge and chucks the dagger)

Link: (crawling through bushes outside) Fine, if he's not doing it, I am! (gets stabbed by incoming dagger)

Autrya: _(sigh) He doesn't deserve this. _(chucks el dagger)

Link: (pulling dagger out) Agh, my blood! (gets stabbed by other dagger)

Roy: Well, the bill isn't that much, let's go home.

Autrya: Right, ok!

They set off for home, leaving Link to walk...er, crawl the whole way.

MH: Welcome home! How was it?

Roy: Great!

Autrya: Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

MH: Terrific! Now GO TO BED!

The next morning...

Link: Ah, it burns!

Marth: Hold still! How did you say this happened again?

Link: I don't know, I was just walking and then two daggers fell from the sky! A bad omen!

Marth: (sigh) Wait, daggers?

Link: Yeah?

Marth: Like the one Roy had?

Link: Um... (picking up one of the daggers he took back) Yep, that's the one.

Marth: That cad! What was he thinking, stabbing you!

Link: I don't know!

Marth: ...And you said two daggers...?

Link: Oh, yeah. Here's the other one.

Marth: Hm, there's some writing on the blade...

Link: What's it say?

Marth: I can't tell...there's too much of your blood on it.

Link: (pales)

Autrya: (walks in) Oh! (sees her dagger) You can catch a bad disease touching other people's blood, let me wash that for you! (nabs her dagger)

Marth: Disease? Then what am I doing handling a wounded person?

Link: Hm, why would she - ouch - take that dagger but not Roy's?

Marth: hmmmmmmm, I don't know.

Peach: (walks in) Guys, the interviews start today!

Link: Dammit, she's right! I can't be interviewed looking like this!

Marth: If you would just shut up and be still, I can fix it!

Roy: (walks in, turns around, begins to walk out)

Link: Whoa, hold up there buddy!

Marth: You aren't going anywhere!

Roy: (turns around nervously) Heh heh, what do you want?

Link: You...stabbed me!

Roy: Huh?

Marth: That's not the issue. The issue is...you _didn't_ stab _her_!

Roy: Look, I know. (closing door) The thing is-

Marth: You have to close that door twice. It opens itself.

Roy: (closing door again) Autyra is not as bad as you think she is. She's a really nice person and her and I have a lot in common.

Marth: Oh?

Roy: Yeah. On our date, we talked and I didn't stab her because she doesn't deserve it! She's a great person!

Link: Really?

Roy: In fact, I got the impression she enjoyed talking to me just as much as I did her. She told me some pretty deep things, like about her past.

Marth: Is that so?

Roy: Yeah, she told me all kinds of stuff, like why she wanted to be a smasher.

Link: Go on.

Roy: ...That's it.

Link: (scoffs) You still shoulda stabbed her.

They hear a doorbell.

Roy: That's the interviewers.

Link: Hurry, Marth!

Marth: You aren't going first, and you'll meet them eventually. Now don't move so much, you're bleeding everywhere!

Link: (holding perfectly still)

Roy: I should probably go now. See you guys later. And sorry for stabbing you Link.

Link: yeah yeah sure you are...

Downstairs, there are about 4 people at the door and Peach greeting them.

Peach: You must be the interviewers! It's a pleasure to meet you, my name is Peach! I'm one of the smashers.

The interviewers include: An old man, a young woman, an older woman, and a younger man.

Old man: My name is Rehsams Lanrete. (about 70 years old)

Older woman: I am Urodieruy. Please call me Uro. (about 40 years old)

Young woman: I'm Ayokan, pleased to meet you. (about 20 years old)

Younger man: And I'm Loof Gnizalb. (about mid 20's-30's)

Peach: Ah, such an honor to meet you all. (curtsing before them)

MH: Please, do come in.

They all have a seat in the main room. Everyone else besides Peach, Roy, and Master Hand are getting ready.

Roy: Sooo...those are some pretty weird names you got there...where ya from?

Rehsams: Huh wha-?

Uro: Excuse me?

Ayokan: Oh, nowhere in particular really. Hee hee.

Loof: We're from around here.

Roy: Cool...

MH: (ahem)

Peach: May I offer you something to eat or drink?

Rehsams: Water please.

Uro: Green tea.

Ayokan: Um...no thanks.

Loof: I'll pass.

MH: While Peach gets those drinks, I'll go over the rules. (explaining long and boring rules)

Rehsams: Ok, now run that by me one more time sloooowly...

Roy: I can't take this. (goes upstairs)

Upstairs, many smashers are still getting ready. Madness...

Fox: Has anyone seen my jacket?

Zelda: Mario, did you iron my dress yet?

Luigi: Samus wake up!

Pikachu: Does anyone know where my bowtie is?

Ganondorf: Captain Falcon, give me back my curling iron!

Falcon: Neva!

Bowser: Hurry up, I need the bathroom next!

Roy enters his room again, where Link is asleep on the floor, bandaged, and Marth is sitting next to him.

Roy: (closing the door) . . . . . . . . . . (closing it again)

Marth: So, how many are there?

Roy: Only four. I guess they plan to do us four at a time.

Ness: (rushes into the room) Ohmigosh this is gonna be soooo exciting! (rushing out of room)

Roy: How's Link?

Marth: Better, I guess.

Zelda: (entering room) Hey guys, you should go now. Your category is after the Starfox, Metroid, and Kirby people.

Roy: Ok, let's go Marth.

Marth: But, Link-

Zelda: I'll watch Link.

Marth: (reluctantly leaving)

Link: (waking up) Oh my god, who are you?

Zelda: Uh, it's me, Zelda.

Link: ...Oh.

Zelda: Geez, you're useless, you know that?

Link: Well excuuuse me, princess!

Zelda: (sigh) Marth and Roy left to do interviews.

Meanwhile...

Uro: So, do you enjoy being a smasher?

Samus: Well, it's alright. I'd rather do something else though.

Uro: . . . .And how does that make you feel?

Samus: oh god no.

- - - - -

Fox: So yeah, basically I just like to shoot a bunch of things and kill people, so it makes me feel good you know?

Rehsams: (sleeping)

Fox: . . . .Hello?

Rehsams: Eh? What? Oh, next question. Uuuuh...

Fox: (sweatdrop)

- - - - -

Kirby: Well, being a smasher is alright...I miss my friends though.

Ayokan: Me too, I get that way all the time like whenever I go on a trip or something I'm always like "wow i miss my friends" and then I'll like call them on the phone and be like "hey i miss you and stuff" and they'll be all "hey i miss you too" and we'll be like "cool".

Kirby: . . . . . . .Wha-?

- - - - -

Falco: Um, being a smasher...gee, I don't know. It's ok, except Master Hand's a bitch, Fox annoys me all the time, and there's just so much to take care of. It's like one big madhouse!

Loof: Sometimes the peace that you search for lies in the midst of a storm...

Falco: Ok, dude. You're creeping me out.

- - - - -

MH: Ok, we need the Fire Emblem people, the F Zero people, and the little psychic dude next.

Ness: The name's Ness.

MH: Right right...

Soon, the next interviews were underway...

Uro: Is there anyone in this mansion that you cannot stand?

Falcon: Well, Ness maybe. Pikachu, Pichu, Mr. Game, Marth, Peach, Master Hand-

- - - - -

Rehsams: Eh, alright sonny. Do you ever have strange desires to-

Roy: I don't even wanna know what you're about to ask me! (leaves)

- - - - -

Marth: Uh, you're supposed to ask me something.

Ayokan: Oh really? Hee hee, sorry! Umm, are you going out with anyone?

Marth: ...I thought you were an expert at this.

Ayokan: I asked you a question! You're supposed to answer it!

Marth: This...(sigh) I give up. (leaves)

- - - - -

Roy: (outside in the main room) Got you too?

Marth: Oh yeah.

- - - - -

Ness: Well, as far as people that bother me, I'd have to say...Roy and Marth and Link.

Loof: Why?

Ness: Because, they soak up all the attention.

Loof: Sometimes, when you judge someone by their cover, you can get the wrong impression and miss out on a truly extraordinary oppurtunity.

Ness: Whoa! Way too many big words! I may look smart, but damn!

- - - - -

MH: Next up is...

So the interviews continue and as time went by, they were over.

Link: (on crutches) Whew, glad that's over.

Falco: Hey, now that we have nothing to do, I need to ask you all something.

All: What?

Falco: Who's shoe is this? (holds up pink high heeled shoe)

Fox: . . . . . .

**Flashback**

In the forest in chapter 5...

Falco: So what if I have a bad sense of direction? And isn't that Zelda's shoe?

Fox: ...What?

Falco: No, really. (picking up pink thing) Yeah, it is!

**End of Flashback**

Fox: Wow, you still have that old thing?

Ganondorf: Let's do it like in Cinderella!

Mario: Ok, all the girls line up. Who will put the shoe on their feet?

Falco: (dropping shoe) Not me!

all: (silent)

Roy: (pushing Marth)

Marth: Hey!

Mario: Perfect! Marth!

Roy: (laughing)

Marth: What goes around, comes around Roy...remember that.

Peach: Ok! I don't think it's my shoe, but...(trying on shoe, to no avail)

Samus: I don't wear these kind of shoes! (trying on, foot too big) See?

Popo: Oh, and trust me, it ain't Nana's.

Zelda: (trying on) Nope.

Falco: Man, in the forest, I really thought it was yours.

Zelda: (transforming)

Sheik: (trying on) Nope.

Luigi: Is that it?

Autrya: No! Wait! (comes down the stairs wearing a dress that she wore for interviews. It is white silk and very formal, but something looks missing...

Marth: Ok, I don't know how it could fit you if you weren't even around when Falco found this.

Autrya: I don't have to try it on...

Pikachu: No, go ahead, now that you're down here.

Autrya: (trying on the shoe) Gasp!

Mario: A perfect fit?

Marth: How can that be?

Zelda: Impossible!

Autrya: Not even I understand!

While they bask in awe, some gears are turning and churning...

Roy: (To Link) So wait. If that was found in the forest, and it's her's, and we didn't know her yet, was she following us?

Link: Maybe. She is our biggest fan...

Autrya: Alright, allow me to explain! I followed you into the forest because I am such a fan!

Roy: we're one step ahead of her...

Samus: Well, that's so kind. Yet very creepy.

They all dissapear into their rooms, Roy following Marth to his.

Roy: So, she followed us because she's so obsessed...stalker.

Marth: It's really weird. (taking off jacket) But what I don't get is...how long has she been stalking us?

Roy: I don't know, I didn't think she was that kind of person.

Marth: Yeah, weird.

Marth opened his dresser drawer but saw something that struck him as so unbelievable, even Roy freaked out.

Roy: Ah! (falls to the floor)

Marth takes the object from his dresser and observes it. It is a white, silk sash that he found earlier. Very similar to the fabric of Autrya's dress.

Marth: Roy! Doesn't this look familiar?

Roy: uuuh...

**Flashback**

Beetle: OOOOWWW! OUCH! (on fire, swinging arms and legs in a rampage, knocking away some of the earth)

Roy: How'd you like that?

Marth: Shut up, showoff.

Roy: Ok, Beetle! Stop...flipping out and fight me!

Beetle: (not listening, swinging around in a rampage, knocking away more earth, causing it to shake, causing Marth to fall over, causing...)

Marth: (picking up a white sash on the ground that looked fairly recent) What's thi-

Beetle: You will not...survive! (knocks Roy over on top of Marth, who quickly put the sash in his pocket)

**End of Flashback**

Roy: No, I've never seen it. But I had this weird flashback that you picked it up with we were fighting the Beetle.

Marth: That's right! Wait, I'm onto something here! (leaves the room in a hurry)

Downstairs, Autrya is talking to Peach.

Marth: Autrya, does this belong to you also?

Autrya: (gasps) Where did you find that?

Marth: The same place where Falco found your shoe. I'm guessing you dropped this also? But why would you wear a dress in the forest if you were just stalking us?

Peach: And why would you wear pink shoes with a _white _dress! Talk about a fashion _emergency!_

Autrya: Marth, I need to talk to you in private.

They leave for the master bedroom, where the lights are dim and the silence deafening.

Marth: What do you want now?

Autrya: I want to tell you the truth. I wasn't in the forest because I was your biggest fan. I was on an assassination plan. My boss, the guy you saw in the pyramid, ordered me to kill all the smasher's because you guys were stealing all his business.

Marth: ...

Autrya: That's where the second dagger came from, me trying to steal Roy. I am particularly after you, Roy, and Link because of your excessive amount of fangirls.

Marth: Well...

Autrya: I stole your statues so my boss could destroy them in his anger.

Marth: Ok now that's just childish.

Autrya: I was in cathoots with Francis and that beetle. I stole all your food that one day, making you go to the grocery store. My boss ate it all, that's why he's so fat. And I switched the bag of letters for Meredith's to be sent.

Marth: Why'd you do that?

Autrya: Just because.

Marth: Well, I'm glad I understand now. And I'm also glad you've gotten over that and chosen to become one of us.

Autrya: But Marth, it doesn't end there.

Marth: What?

Autrya: I'm still on this mission, I was never one of you. Marth...

Autrya leans up and kisses Marth tenderly on the lips for a brief moment. Then, she whispers, "You always were my favorite. I'm afraid the time has come now. Good-bye...forever..." She trails off and pushes a button on a remote she had. The whole mansion begins to shake and soon after, collapse. "Autrya, what have you done!" Marth yells, but the girl is already unconcious, or at least almost. Marth falls to the floor because of the increasing magnitude of the mansion. Autrya is gone from his sight and the room he was in caught on fire.

Smoke filled the mansion and the sound of people's cries fills the air. Roy appears in the doorway of the master bedroom. "Marth! What are you doing, we gotta get out of here!" He helps Marth up and coughs at the amount of smoke in the house. Zelda and Link also help evacuate people, but none found Autrya anywhere. In the foyer below, the door is blocked by a large wooden beam. Bowser, MH, and Ganondorf try uselessly to move it. "We're trapped!" Peach cried.

Mario took one last look around and they all heard a countdown begin. "What's going on? This is terrible!" A bright light shines and the mansion is filled with a heavy battle arua. Zelda closed her eyes and clung to Link, shouting, "Do something!" Link looks frantically around, the smasher's are disappearing one by one from his vision. Marth finally fell into the grasp of unconciosness and Roy tried to support his dead weight. "Link, Zelda, watch out!" He yells to them an instant before a cloud of firey explosion consumed them.

The mansion exploded, dynamite being the cause. The smasher's were sent flying in one general direction, some still alive, some unconcious, maybe even some dead. The were sent far far away and a few caught a glimpse of their burning home before they collided with either sea or sand. Roy opened his eyes and was lying on the sand, Marth still near him. He crawled over to his friend, who was thankfully still alive. Link carefully approached Roy, tears in his eyes. "Roy, I lost Zelda!"

Then reality struck Roy for the first time in a while. Despite the smasher's strength, a few could still die, and Zelda was no exception. Tears continued to flow down Link's face as he fell to the sand in defeat. Roy looked around to see several other smasher's strewn along the shoreline. Marth stirred for a moment and his eyes fluttered open. He sat up. "Where are we?"

Well, it lost some of its humor there at the end, but oh well. Sorry for any typos, I'm super jitterey right now. So Autrya was evil after all. As you can tell, there will be a sequel to this. It will have some humor, but that moment had to be all drama. Sorry if you were looking for a good laugh. So, what do you think? Where are they? Who survived? Where's Zelda? Dead? In the water? Still at the mansion? (no) Will Link be able to carry on without her? And will Marth thank Roy for saving him? Find out next time in

**the sequel...baby**


End file.
